France -- History -- Revolution, 1789-1799 -- Fiction; Napoleon I, Emperor of the French, 1769-1821 -- Fiction
"Ah! true, I forgot the best part of the story. When they called me the
Monk of Cologne--where I never was a monk--and the canon of
Augsburg--where I never was a cannon--they reproached me for my orgies
and debaucheries! My orgies! Let me tell you what they were; for
thirty-four years I drank nothing but water and ate nothing but carrots;
it is no more than fair that I should eat white bread and meat now. My
debaucheries! If they think I threw my frock to the devil to live like
Saint Anthony, they are mistaken. Well, there is one way to end all
that, and that is to marry. I shall be as faithful a husband and as good
a father of a family as another, if citizen Saint-Just will give me
time."
"Have you at least selected the fortunate lady who is to have the honor
of sharing your couch?" asked Edelmann.
"Oh!" said Schneider, "so long as there is a woman, the devil himself
can look out for her."
"To the health of Schneider's future wife!" cried Young; "and since he
has left the devil to provide her, may he at least send one who is
young, beautiful, and rich."
"Hurrah for Schneider's wife!" said Monnet sadly.
Just then the door of the dining-room opened, and the old cook appeared
on the threshold.
"There is a citizeness here," she said, "who wishes to speak to Euloge
Schneider on urgent business."
"Well," said Schneider, "I know nothing more urgent than my dinner. Tell
her to return to-morrow."
The old woman disappeared, but returned almost immediately. "She says
that to-morrow will be too late."
"Then why didn't she come sooner?"
"Because that was impossible," said a soft supplicating voice in the
ante-chamber. "Let me see you, I beg, I implore you!"
Euloge, with a gesture of impatience, bade the old cook pull the door to
and come close to him. But then, remembering the freshness and
youthfulness of the voice, he said with the smile of a satyr: "Is she
young?"
"Maybe eighteen," replied the old woman.
"Pretty?"
"With the devil's own beauty."
The three men began to laugh.
"You hear, Schneider, the devil's own beauty.
"Now," said Young, "we need only find out if she is rich, and there is
your wife ready to hand. Open the door, old woman, and don't keep her
waiting. You ought to know the pretty child if she comes from the
devil."
"Why not from God?" asked Charles, in such a sweet voice that the three
men started at it.
"Because our friend Schneider has quarrelled with God, and he stands
very high with the devil. I don't know any other reason."
"And because," said Young, "it is only the devil who gives such prompt
answers to prayers."
"Well," said Schneider, "let her come in."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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