The Whole Family: a Novel by Twelve AuthorsHowells, William Dean
General
The Whole Family: a Novel by Twelve Authors
Howells, William Dean
Domestic fiction
It was almost as bad as the time I wore that sweet little yellow Empire
gown. It's a dear, and Lyman Wilde simply raved over it when he
painted me in it (not that he can really paint, but he has a TOUCH with
everything he does). I noticed that everybody seemed solemn and queer,
but I never dreamed that I was the cause until my mother-in-law came to
me afterward, blushing, and told me that Mr. Talbert never allowed any
of the family to wear Mother Hubbards around the house. MOTHER HUBBARDS!
I could have moaned. Well, when I go around there now I never care what
I have on, and I never pretend to talk at meals; I just sit and try and
make my mind a blank until it's over. You HAVE to make your mind a blank
if you don't want to be driven raving crazy by that dining-room. It has
a hideous black-walnut sideboard, an “oil-painting” of pale, bloated
fruit on one side, and pale, bloated fish on the other, and a strip of
black-and-white marbled oil-cloth below.
I feel sometimes as if I could hardly live until my father-in-law rises
from his chair and kisses his wife good-bye before going off to the
factory. She always blushes so prettily when he kisses her--as if it
were for the first time. Then everybody looks pained when Peter and I
just nod at each other as he goes out--I cannot be affectionate to him
before them--and then, thank Heaven! the rest of us escape from the
dining-room.
How Peggy, who has been away from home and seen and done things, can
stand it there now as it is, is a continual wonder to me.
Peggy is a dear little thing. Peter has always been awfully fond of her,
but she doesn't seem to have an idea in her head beyond her clothes and
Harry Goward, though she'll HAVE to have something more to her if she's
going to keep HIM. The moment I saw that boy, of course I knew that he
had the artistic temperament; I've seen so much of it. He's the kind
that's always awfully gloomy until eleven o'clock in the morning, and
has to make love intensely to somebody every evening. What it must have
been to that boy, after indulging in a romantic dream with poor little
earnest, downright Peggy, to wake up and find the engagement taken
seriously not only by her, but by all her relatives--find himself
being welcomed into the family, introduced to them all as a future
member--what it must have been to him I can't imagine! Peggy has no
more temperament than a cow--the combination of Maria and Tom, and
Grandmother Evarts, and Billy with his face washed clean, and Alice with
three enormous bows on her hair, all waiting to welcome him, standing by
the pictorial lamp on the brown worsted mat on the centre-table, made
me fairly howl when I sat at home and thought of it--and that was before
I'd SEEN Harry.
The family were, of course, quite “hurt” that Peter and I wouldn't
assist at the celebration. I cannot see why people WILL want you to do
things when they KNOW you don't care to!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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