The Widow Barnaby. Vol. 3 (of 3)Trollope, Frances Milton
General
The Widow Barnaby. Vol. 3 (of 3)
Trollope, Frances Milton
England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Social classes -- England -- Fiction; Widows -- Fiction
Had this been said to a younger man, it is probable that he would not
have found in it anything calculated to give a mortal wound to his hopes
and wishes; but it fell with appalling coldness on the heart of the
brave soldier, who had long kept Cupid at defiance by the shield of
Mars, and who had just made the first proposal of marriage that had ever
passed his lips. It was her age and his own that rose before him as she
uttered her melancholy "No, never!..." and Agnes became almost the
first object to whom he had ever, even for a moment, been unjust. He
gave her no credit ... no, not the least, for the noble struggle that
was breaking her heart, and meant most sincerely what he said, when he
replied,--
"Forgive me, Miss Willoughby.... Had I been a younger man, the offer of
my hand, my heart, my life, would not have appeared to you, as it
doubtless must do now,--the result of sober, staid benevolence, desirous
of preserving youthful innocence from unmerited sorrow.... Such must my
love seem.... So let it seem; ... but it shall never cost one hour's
pain to you."... He was silent for a moment, and had to struggle, brave
man as he was, against feelings whose strength, perhaps, only shewed his
weakness.... "But even so," he added, making a strong effort to speak
steadily, "even so; let me not be here in vain: listen to me as a friend
and father."
Poor Agnes!... this was a hard trial. To save him, worshipped as he
was, from a marriage that must be considered as degrading, she could
have sacrificed herself with the triumphant courage of a proud martyr;
but to leave him with the idea that she was too young to love him!...
to let that glowing, generous heart sink back upon itself, because it
found no answering warmth in her!... in her! who would have died only
to purchase the light of owning that she never did, and never could,
love any man but him!... It was too terrible, and the words "Hubert!
beloved Hubert!" were on her lips; but they came no farther, for she had
not strength to speak them. Another effort might have been more
successful, and they, or something like them, might have found way, had
not the gentleman recovered his voice first, and resumed the
conversation in a tone so chillingly reserved, that the timid,
broken-spirited girl, had no strength left "to prick the sides of her
intent," and lay her innocent heart open before him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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