I had been long enough in the wilderness, to know that even a "dwelling in the desert" cannot be maintained without expense; and that however pure the desert air, the _fairest_ "spirit" would require something more substantial to live upon. Under this prudential view of the case, marriage was altogether out of the question. We, the _debandes_, were dismissed without pension: the only reward for our warlike achievements being a piece of "land scrip," good for the number of acres upon the face of it--to be selected from "government land," wherever the holder might choose to "locate." The scrip was for greater or less amount, according to the term of the receiver's service. Mine represented a "section" of six hundred and forty acres--worth in ordinary times, a dollar and quarter per acre; but just then--on account of the market being flooded by similar paper--reduced to less than half its value. With this magnificent "bounty" was I rewarded for services, that perhaps--some day--might be--never mind!--thank heaven for blessing me with the comforting virtues of humility and contentment! This bit of scrip then--a tried steed that had carried me many a long mile, and through the smoke of more than one red fray--a true rifle, that I had myself carried equally as far--a pair of Colt's pistols--and a steel "Toledo," taken at the storming of Chapultepec--constituted the bulk of my available property. Add to this, a remnant of my last month's pay-- in truth, not enough to provide me with that much coveted article, a _civilian's suit_: in proof of which, my old undress-frock, with its yellow spread-eagle buttons, clung to my shoulders like a second shirt of Nessus. The vanity of wearing a uniform, that may have once been felt, was long ago threadbare as the coat itself; and yet I was not wanting in friends, who fancied that it might still exist! How little understood they the real state of the case, and how much did they misconstrue my _involuntary_ motives! It was just to escape from such unpleasant associations, that I held on to my "scrip." Most of my brother-officers had sold theirs for a "song," and spent the proceeds upon a "supper." In relation to mine, I had other views than parting with it to the greedy speculators. It promised me that very wilderness-home I was in search of; and, having no prospect of procuring a fair spirit for my "minister," I determined to "locate" without one.