I had wondered whether, like so many other girls, she had some imaginary
grievance in her home; but now, finding that this was not so, it
naturally occurred to me that the cause of her strange desire to live
her life over again arose through the action of some faithless lover.
How many hundreds of girls with wealth and beauty, perfectly happy in
all else, are daily wearing out their lives because of the fickleness of
the men to whom they have foolishly given their hearts! The
tightly-laced corsets of every eight girls in ten conceals a heart
filled by the regrets of a love long past; the men smile airily through
the wreaths of their tobacco-smoke, while the women, in those little
fits of melancholy which they love to indulge in, sit and reflect in
silence upon the might-have-beens. Is there, I wonder, a single one of
us, man or woman, who does not remember our first love, the deep
immensity of that pair of eyes; the kindly sympathy of that face, which
in our immature years we thought our ideal, and thereupon bowed the knee
in worship? If such there be, then they are mere unrefined boors
without a spark of romance in their nature, or poetry within their soul.
Indeed, the regrets arising from a long-forgotten love ofttimes mingle
pleasure with sadness, and through one's whole life form cherished
memories of those flushed days of a buoyant youth. To how many of those
who read these lines will be recalled vivid recollections of a summer
idyll of long ago; a day when, with the dainty or manly object of their
affections, they wandered beside the blue sea, or on the banks of the
tranquil, willow-lined river, or perhaps hand-in-hand strolled beneath
the great old forest trees, where the sunlight glinted and touched the
gnarled trunks with grey and gold! To each will come back the sweet
recollection of a sunset hour now long, long ago, when they pressed the
lips of the one they loved, and thought the rough world as rosy as that
summer afterglow. The regret of those days always remains--often only a
pleasant memory, but, alas! sometimes a lamentation bordering upon
despair, until the end of our days.
"And may I not know something, however little, of the cause of this
oppression upon you?" I asked of her, after we had walked some distance
in silence. "You tell me that you desire to wipe out the past and
commence afresh. The reason of this interests me," I added.
"I don't know why you should interest yourself in me," she murmured.
"It is really unnecessary."
"No, no," I exclaimed hastily. "Although our acquaintance has been of
but brief duration, I am bold enough to believe that you count me among
your friends. Is it not so?"
"Certainly, or I would not have given you permission to walk with me
here," she answered with a sweetness which showed her unostentatious
delicacy of character.
"Then, as your friend, I beg of you to repose whatever confidence in me
you may think fit, and to be assured that I will never abuse it."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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