“You have,” he answered dryly; “you have indeed.”
He made other remarks too, as usual, about what he called the “plain
determination to provide a victim”; but, having now arranged my
thoughts better, I recognized that this was simply the cry of his
frightened soul against the knowledge that he was being attacked in a
vital part, and that he would be somehow taken or destroyed. The
situation called for a courage and calmness of reasoning that neither
of us could compass, and I have never before been so clearly conscious
of two persons in me—the one that explained everything, and the other
that laughed at such foolish explanations, yet was horribly afraid.
Meanwhile, in the pitchy night the fire died down and the wood pile
grew small. Neither of us moved to replenish the stock, and the
darkness consequently came up very close to our faces. A few feet
beyond the circle of firelight it was inky black. Occasionally a stray
puff of wind set the willows shivering about us, but apart from this
not very welcome sound a deep and depressing silence reigned, broken
only by the gurgling of the river and the humming in the air overhead.
We both missed, I think, the shouting company of the winds.
At length, at a moment when a stray puff prolonged itself as though the
wind were about to rise again, I reached the point for me of
saturation, the point where it was absolutely necessary to find relief
in plain speech, or else to betray myself by some hysterical
extravagance that must have been far worse in its effect upon both of
us. I kicked the fire into a blaze, and turned to my companion
abruptly. He looked up with a start.
“I can’t disguise it any longer,” I said; “I don’t like this place, and
the darkness, and the noises, and the awful feelings I get. There’s
something here that beats me utterly. I’m in a blue funk, and that’s
the plain truth. If the other shore was—different, I swear I’d be
inclined to swim for it!”
The Swede’s face turned very white beneath the deep tan of sun and
wind. He stared straight at me and answered quietly, but his voice
betrayed his huge excitement by its unnatural calmness. For the moment,
at any rate, he was the strong man of the two. He was more phlegmatic,
for one thing.
“It’s not a physical condition we can escape from by running away,” he
replied, in the tone of a doctor diagnosing some grave disease; “we
must sit tight and wait. There are forces close here that could kill a
herd of elephants in a second as easily as you or I could squash a fly.
Our only chance is to keep perfectly still. Our insignificance perhaps
may save us.”
I put a dozen questions into my expression of face, but found no words.
It was precisely like listening to an accurate description of a disease
whose symptoms had puzzled me.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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