Pennsylvania -- Fiction; United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
The Rev. William West went into his study and shut the door. He
was a man who was always accessible to his people, yet his lips
tightened with impatience when he found a parishioner awaiting him,
and saw a pile of notes on his writing-table. But it was only for
an instant; he listened to the anxieties of his caller with that
concentration of sympathy which can put self aside; and when the
man went away it was with the other man’s heartfelt grip of the
hand, his heartfelt “I thank you for coming to me; God bless you,
my friend, and give you wisdom.”
The letters were not so easy; but he went through them faithfully,
answering them or filing them away: appeals for help, or money, or
work; two invitations; two letters from ladies of his congregation
about their souls; the unmarried and interesting clergyman knows
this sort of letter too well! He was aware of a sense of haste
in getting through with these things; a sense of haste even in
disposing of another caller, a boy, who came to say he had doubts
about the existence of God, and who felt immensely important in
consequence. “I tell you, Mr. West,” this youth declared, nodding
his head, “of course I don’t mean to be hard on the church; of
course I see the value of such a belief in keeping the masses
straight, but, for thinking men!” To treat this sort of thing
seriously and patiently is one of the trials of a thinking man who
happens to be a minister. Then the Tenor came to give his side of
the quarrel with the Bass, and the organist to say that quartette
and chorus were all fools.
One does not prove the existence of God, or pacify wounded artistic
feelings easily; it was nearly midnight before the clergyman had
his library to himself.
With a sigh of relief he shut the door, and walked once or twice
about the room, as though trying to shake off other people’s
affairs; then he bit off the end of a cigar, struck a match, and
sat down. He put his hands deep into his pockets, and stretched
his feet straight out in front of him.
“It must be five years since I’ve thought of it,” he said to
himself.
He held his lighted cigar between his fingers, his chin sunk on his
breast, his mouth set in that hard line which refuses to extenuate
or evade; his eyes narrowed with thought. Five years: Yes, the
memory had so faded and lessened that by and by it had ceased, and
now it was as though, as he walked along the level path of daily
life, a serpent suddenly lifted its evil head from the dust, and
struck at him, hissing.
“I was eighteen,” he said to himself; “no, nineteen. And now I’m
forty-two! Twenty-nine, thirty-nine--it’s twenty-three years ago.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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