"Something else, too, he must have advised, which greatly disturbed my parents, at least papa; for mama, since a long time already, was not to be roused from her phlegmatic composure. When she dreamily gazed out into the distance, he often looked at her askance, shook his head, sighed, and slammed the door after him. "But however much she might be suffering, she would not give up her work. As long as I can remember, I have never seen her idle even for a moment. As a child already she stood with her lesson-book at the cooking-stove, or had an eye on the wash-kitchen, while she wrote her German composition. Since she was grown up, she combined the duties of my instruction with all the cares which a large household imposes upon its manager. Mama had quite retired in virtue of her age, and allowed her to do and dispose as she pleased, if only the _compôtes_ and other dainties won her approval. "I, who was spoilt beyond measure by everyone in the house, was ashamed of my inactivity, and endeavoured to take a part of the responsibility off Martha's shoulders; but with gentle remonstrance she dissuaded me. "'Leave that, child,' she said, stroking my cheeks; 'you happen to be the princess of the house, you had better remain so.' "That hurt me. I could bear anything rather than to be repulsed, when I came with my heart full to overflowing of generous resolves. "One evening I saw her crying. I slunk out into the garden and fought a hard battle. I almost choked with my longing to help, but I could not so far conquer myself as to go up to her and put my arms consolingly about her neck. When I lay in bed, my desire to comfort her came upon me with renewed force; I got up, and in my nightdress, just as I was, I slipped out into the dark corridor. "For a long time I stood outside her door, trembling with cold and with fear, and with my hand on the door-knob. At last I took heart and crept in softly. "She knelt before her bed with her head pressed into the pillows. She seemed to be praying. "I stopped at the door, for I did not venture to disturb her. "At last she turned round, and at sight of me started up abruptly. "'What do you want?' she stammered. "I clung to her, and sobbed fit to soften the heart of a stone. "'Child--for Heaven's sake--what is the matter with you?' she cried. "I was incapable of uttering a word. She, in her motherly way, took a large woollen shawl, wrapped me in it, and drew me down upon her knee, though I was then already bigger than she. "'Now confess, my darling, what ails you?' she asked, stroking my face. "I gathered up all my strength, and hiding my face upon her neck, I sobbed, 'Martha--I want--to help--you.' "A long silence ensued, and when I raised up my face I saw an unutterably bitter, sorrowful smile playing about her lips. And then she took my head between her hands, kissed my brow and said: