Love stories, German; Sisters -- Fiction; Suicide victims -- Fiction
"Her face grew ashy pale, her fingers twitched convulsively, I think
she could have strangled me on the spot; but she went, and good,
lackadaisical uncle, who was always dangling three paces behind her,
went with her.
"In sheer triumph I laughed out loud: 'What should you want, you
mercenary souls, in this temple of pain? Out with you!'
* * * * *
"It grew night. Like a streak of fire the last red rays of the setting
sun lay over the town, the towers of which stood out black and pointed
in the glow. For a long time I watched the fiery clouds, till darkness
had buried them also in its lap.
"The clock struck nine. Then the old doctor came. He sat for a long
time in silence on my chair, stroked my hand at parting, and said:
'Continue--carbolic--all night!' In answer to my anxiously questioning
look, he had nothing but a doubtful shrug of the shoulders.
"From somewhere, two or three rooms away, I heard Robert's voice
talking at the old man. This was the first sign that he too was in the
proximity of the sick-bed. 'Why ever does he stay outside?' I asked
myself; 'it really almost seems as if admission were prohibited.'
"The clock struck ten. Silence all around. The household seemed gone to
rest.
"The wind rattled at the garden railings. It sounded as if some late
guest wished to enter. Was death already creeping round the house? Was
he already counting the grains of sand in his hour-glass?
"Desperate defiance seized me. Without knowing what I did, I rushed
towards the door, as if to throw myself in the path of the threatening
demon.
"Ill-fated creature, I, that I did not suspect what other demon sat
lurking in front of that one, on the threshold!
"A few minutes later Robert entered. Not a word, not a greeting--again
only that swift, scared look which once already had cut me to the
quick. With his heavy, swaying gait he walked up to the bedside,
grasped her hand--that hot, wasted hand, with its bluish nails--and
stared down upon it. And then he sat down in the darkest corner, behind
the stove, and crouched there for two long, long hours.
"With beating heart I waited for him to address me, but he was as
silent as before.
"Soon after midnight he left the room. For a long time yet I heard him
walking up and down outside in the corridor, and, at the muffled sound
of his tramping footsteps, another night came into my mind, when I had
listened, no less trembling in fear and hope, to the same sound. Worlds
lay between then and now, and the young, foolish creature who had then
hearkened out into the darkness, burning with the desire to help and to
sacrifice herself, now appeared to me like a strange, radiant being
from some distant, shining planet.
"The footsteps grew less distinct. He had gone back to his room.
"'Will he return again?' I asked myself, putting my ear to the keyhole.
'In any case he cannot sleep.' And I started joyfully when the sound
once more increased.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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