Take yourself in earnest, never stop to think, Strut and swagger boldly, dress in red and pink; Prate of stuff and nonsense, get yourself abused; Some one's got to play the fool to keep the crowd amused! Bully for the idiot! Bully for the guy! You could be a prig yourself, if you would only try! Altruistic asses keep the fun alive; Clowns are growing scarcer; hurry and arrive! I seen a crazy critic a-writin' of a screed; "Tendencies" and "Unities"--Maeterlinck indeed! He wore a paper collar, and his tie was up behind; If that's the test of Culture, then I'm glad I'm not refined! Let me laugh at you, then you can laugh at me; Then we'll josh together everything we see; Every one's a nincompoop to another's view; Laughter makes the sun shine! Roop-de-doodle-doo! THE TWO BROTHERS BY CAROLYN WELLS Once on a Time there were Two Brothers who Set Out to make their Way In The World. One was of a Roving Disposition, and no sooner had he settled Down to Live in One Place than he would Gather Up all his Goods and Chattels and Move to another Place. From here again he would Depart and make him a Fresh Home, and so on until he Became an Old Man and had gained neither Fortune nor Friends. The Other, being Disinclined to Change or Diversity of Scene, remained all his Life in One Place. He therefore Became Narrow-Minded and Provincial, and gained None of the Culture and Liberality of Nature which comes from Contact with various Scenes of Life. MORALS: This Fable teaches that a Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss, and a Setting Hen Never Grows Fat. A LETTER FROM PETROLEUM V. NASBY I AM REQUESTED TO ACT AS CHAPLAIN OF THE CLEVELAND CONVENTION.--THAT BEAUTIFUL CITY VISITED FOR THAT PURPOSE. POST OFFIS, CONFEDRIT X ROADS, (wich is in the Stait uv Kentucky), September 20, 1866.