American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
It is the same with its size. We can not, as we have said, reach it by
ladders to measure it; and if we did reach it, we should have no
measuring-tapes large enough, and those that shut up with springs are
difficult to use in a high places. We are told, it is true, in a great
many of the school-books, the size of the sun; but, again, very few of
those who have learned the number have been able to remember it after
they have recited it, even if they remembered it then. And almost all of
the scholars have lost their school-books, or have neglected to carry
them home, and so they are not able to refer to them,--I mean, after
leaving school. I must say that is the case with me, I should say with
us, though it was different. The older ones gave their school-books to
the younger ones, who took them back to school to lose them, or who have
destroyed them when there were no younger ones to go to school. I should
say there are such families. What I mean is, the fact that in some
families there are no younger children to take off the school-books. But
even then they are put away on upper shelves, in closets or in attics,
and seldom found if wanted,--if then, dusty.
Of course, we all know of a class of persons called astronomers, who
might be able to give us information on the subject in hand, and who
probably do furnish what information is found in school-books. It should
be observed, however, that these astronomers carry on their observations
always in the night. Now, it is well known that the sun does not shine
in the night. Indeed, that is one of the peculiarities of the night,
that there is no sun to light us, so we have to go to bed as long as
there is nothing else we can do without its light, unless we use lamps,
gas, or kerosene, which is very well for the evening, but would be
expensive all night long; the same with candles. How, then, can we
depend upon their statements, if not made from their own observation,--I
mean, if they never saw the sun?
We can not expect that astronomers should give us any valuable
information with regard to the sun, which they never see, their
occupation compelling them to be up at night. It is quite likely that
they never see it; for we should not expect them to sit up all day as
well as all night, as, under such circumstances, their lives would not
last long.
Indeed, we are told that their name is taken from the word _aster_,
which means "star;" the word is "aster--know--more." This, doubtless,
means that they know more about the stars than other things. We see,
therefore, that their knowledge is confined to the stars, and we can not
trust what they have to tell us of the sun.
There are other asters which should not be mixed up with these,--we mean
those growing by the wayside in the fall of the year. The astronomers,
from their nocturnal habits, can scarcely be acquainted with them; but
as it does not come within our province, we will not inquire.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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