The Wit and Humor of America, Volume III. (of X.) — John Shaqi
The Wit and Humor of America, Volume III. (of X.)
General
The Wit and Humor of America, Volume III. (of X.)
American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
As the days went by it became certain that the lady was confined to the
house, perhaps seriously ill, possibly a confirmed invalid. Whether she
was attended by a physician from Canton or from Milton, I was unable to
say; but neither the gig with the large white allopathic horse, nor the
gig with the homoeopathic sorrel mare, was ever seen hitched at the
gate during the day. If a physician had charge of the case, he visited
his patient only at night. All this moved my sympathy, and I reproached
myself with having had hard thoughts of our neighbors. Trouble had come
to them early. I would have liked to offer them such small, friendly
services as lay in my power; but the memory of the repulse I had
sustained still rankled in me. So I hesitated.
One morning my two boys burst into the library with their eyes
sparkling.
"You know the old elm down the road?" cried one.
"Yes."
"The elm with the hang-bird's nest?" shrieked the other.
"Yes, yes!"
"Well, we both just climbed up, and there's three young ones in it!"
Then I smiled to think that our new neighbors had got such a promising
little family.
MY FIRST VISIT TO PORTLAND
BY MAJOR JACK DOWNING
In the fall of the year 1829, I took it into my head I'd go to Portland.
I had heard a good deal about Portland, what a fine place it was, and
how the folks got rich there proper fast; and that fall there was a
couple of new papers come up to our place from there, called the
"Portland Courier" and "Family Reader," and they told a good many queer
kind of things about Portland, and one thing and another; and all at
once it popped into my head, and I up and told father, and says,--
"I am going to Portland, whether or no; and I'll see what this world is
made of yet."
Father stared a little at first, and said he was afraid I would get
lost; but when he see I was bent upon it, he give it up, and he stepped
to his chist, and opened the till, and took out a dollar, and he gave it
to me; and says he,--
"Jack, this is all I can do for you; but go and lead an honest life, and
I believe I shall hear good of you yet."
He turned and walked across the room, but I could see the tears start
into his eyes. And mother sat down and had a hearty crying-spell.
This made me feel rather bad for a minit or two, and I almost had a mind
to give it up; and then again father's dream came into my mind, and I
mustered up courage, and declared I'd go. So I tackled up the old horse,
and packed in a load of axe-handles, and a few notions; and mother
fried me some doughnuts, and put 'em into a box, along with some cheese,
and sausages, and ropped me up another shirt, for I told her I didn't
know how long I should be gone. And after I got rigged out, I went round
and bid all the neighbors good-by, and jumped in, and drove off for
Portland.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account