Shooting-Match, The A.B. Longstreet 666 Sonnet of the Lovable Lass and the Plethoric Dad J.W. Foley 723 Story of the Two Friars Eugene Field 588 Two Husbands, The Carolyn Wells 587 Two Pedestrians, The Carolyn Wells 603 Two Prisoners, The Carolyn Wells 641 Victory Tom Masson 714 Wolf at Susan's Door, The Anne Warner 626 COMPLETE INDEX AT THE END OF VOLUME X. THE BRIEFLESS BARRISTER _A Ballad_ BY JOHN G. SAXE An attorney was taking a turn, In shabby habiliments drest; His coat it was shockingly worn, And the rust had invested his vest. His breeches had suffered a breach, His linen and worsted were worse; He had scarce a whole crown in his hat, And not half a crown in his purse. And thus as he wandered along, A cheerless and comfortless elf, He sought for relief in a song, Or complainingly talked to himself:-- "Unfortunate man that I am! I've never a client but grief: The case is, I've no case at all, And in brief, I've ne'er had a brief! "I've waited and waited in vain, Expecting an 'opening' to find, Where an honest young lawyer might gain Some reward for toil of his mind. "'Tis not that I'm wanting in law, Or lack an intelligent face, That others have cases to plead, While I have to plead for a case. "O, how can a modest young man E'er hope for the smallest progression,-- The profession's already so full Of lawyers so full of profession!" While thus he was strolling around, His eye accidentally fell On a very deep hole in the ground, And he sighed to himself, "It is well!" To curb his emotions, he sat On the curbstone the space of a minute, Then cried, "Here's an opening at last!" And in less than a jiffy was in it! Next morning twelve citizens came ('Twas the coroner bade them attend), To the end that it might be determined How the man had determined his end! "The man was a lawyer, I hear," Quoth the foreman who sat on the corse. "A lawyer? Alas!" said another, "Undoubtedly died of remorse!" A third said, "He knew the deceased, An attorney well versed in the laws, And as to the cause of his death, 'Twas no doubt for the want of a cause." The jury decided at length, After solemnly weighing the matter, That the lawyer was drown_d_ed, because He could not keep his head above water! THE TWO HUSBANDS BY CAROLYN WELLS Once on a Time there were Two Men, each of whom married the Woman of his Choice. One Man devoted all his Energies to Getting Rich.