American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
Taddy replied that he was quite sure, as he climbed from the chaise into
Atkins's wagon. The minister smilingly remarked that he hoped she would
find no robbery had been committed, and went his way. Atkins, driving
back, and setting her and Taddy down at the Ducklow gate, answered her
embarrassed "Much obleeged to ye," with a sincere "Not at all,"
considering the fun he had had a sufficient compensation for his
trouble. And thus ended the morning adventures, with the exception of an
unimportant episode, in which Taddy, Mrs. Ducklow, and Mrs. Ducklow's
rattan were the principal actors.
THE SHOOTING-MATCH
BY A.B. LONGSTREET
Shooting-matches are probably nearly coeval with the colonization of
Georgia. They are still common throughout the Southern States, though
they are not as common as they were twenty-five or thirty years ago.
Chance led me to one about a year ago. I was traveling in one of the
northeastern counties, when I overtook a swarthy, bright-eyed, smirky
little fellow, riding a small pony, and bearing on his shoulder a long,
heavy rifle, which, judging from its looks, I should say had done
service in Morgan's corps.
"Good morning, sir!" said I, reining up my horse as I came beside him.
"How goes it, stranger?" said he, with a tone of independence and
self-confidence that awakened my curiosity to know a little of his
character.
"Going driving?" inquired I.
"Not exactly," replied he, surveying my horse with a quizzical smile; "I
haven't been a driving _by myself_ for a year or two; and my nose has
got so bad lately, I can't carry a cold trail _without hounds to help
me_."
Alone, and without hounds as he was, the question was rather a silly
one; but it answered the purpose for which it was put, which was only to
draw him into conversation, and I proceeded to make as decent a retreat
as I could.
"I didn't know," said I, "but that you were going to meet the huntsmen,
or going to your stand."
"Ah, sure enough," rejoined he, "that _mout_ be a bee, as the old woman
said when she killed a wasp. It seems to me I ought to know you."
"Well, if you _ought_, why _don't_ you?"
"What _mout_ your name be?"
"It _might_ be anything," said I, with a borrowed wit, for I knew my man
and knew what kind of conversation would please him most.
"Well, what _is_ it, then?"
"It _is_ Hall," said I; "but you know it might as well have been
anything else."
"Pretty digging!" said he. "I find you're not the fool I took you to be;
so here's to a better acquaintance with you."
"With all my heart," returned I; "but you must be as clever as I've
been, and give me your name."
"To be sure I will, my old coon; take it, take it, and welcome. Anything
else about me you'd like to have?"
"No," said I, "there's nothing else about you worth having."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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