The Wit and Humor of America, Volume IX (of X) — John Shaqi
The Wit and Humor of America, Volume IX (of X)
General
The Wit and Humor of America, Volume IX (of X)
American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
"What has changed Sophia so? It isn't Sophia at all! And I thought so
much of her, and I looked forward to spending my old age with her so
happily!" murmured Julia. "But perhaps it will come right," she reasoned
cheerily. "I may get used to it. I didn't suppose there'd be any rubbing
of corners. But as there is, the sooner they're rubbed off the better,
and we shall settle down into comfort again, at last instead of at
first, as I had hoped in the beginning."
Alas! "I really can't stand these plants of yours, Julia, dear," said
Mrs. Maybury, soon afterward. "I've tried to. I've said nothing. I've
waited, to be very sure. But I never have been able to have plants about
me. They act like poison to me. They always make me sneeze so. And you
see I'm all stuffed up--"
Her plants! Almost as dear to her as children might have been! The chief
ornament of her parlors! And just ready to bloom! This was really asking
too much. "I don't believe it's the plants at all," said Julia. "That's
sheer nonsense. Anybody living on this green and vegetating earth to be
poisoned by plants in a window! I don't suppose they trouble you any
more than your lamp all night does me; but I've never said anything
about that. I can't bear lamplight at night; I want it perfectly dark,
and the light streams out of your room--"
"Why don't you shut the door, then?"
"Because I never shut my door. I want to hear if anything disturbs the
house. Why don't you shut yours?"
"I never do, either. I've always had several rooms, and kept the doors
open between. It isn't healthy to sleep with closed doors."
"Healthy! Healthy! I don't hear anything else from morning till night
when I'm in the house."
"You can't hear very much of it, then."
"I should think, Sophia Maybury, you wanted to live forever!"
"Goodness knows I don't!" cried Mrs. Maybury, bursting into tears. And
that night she shut her bedroom door and opened the window, and sneezed
worse than ever all day afterward, in spite of the fact that Mrs.
Cairnes had put all her cherished plants into the dining-room alcove.
"I can't imagine what has changed Julia so," sighed Mrs. Maybury. "She
used to be so bright and sweet and good-tempered. And now I really don't
know what sort of an answer I'm to have to anything I say. It keeps my
nerves stretched on the _qui vive_ all day. I am so disappointed. I am
sure the Doctor would be very unhappy if he knew how I felt."
But Mrs. Maybury had need to pity herself; Julia didn't pity her. "She's
been made a baby of so long," said Julia, "that now she really can't go
alone." And perhaps she was a little bitterer about it than she would
have been had Captain Cairnes ever made a baby of her in the least, at
any time.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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