American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
"Why--y--y--!" exclaimed Budge; "didn't you have no papa when you was a
little boy?"
"Yes, but he never told me about any one named Ferus; there's no such
person named in Anthon's Classical Dictionary, either. What sort of a
man was he?"
"Why, once there was a man, an' his name was Ferus--_Of_ferus, an' he
went about fightin' for kings, but when any king got afraid of anybody,
he wouldn't fight for him no more. An' one day he couldn't find no kings
that wasn't afraid of nobody. An' the people told him the Lord was the
biggest king in the world, an' he wasn't afraid of nobody or nothing.
An' he asked 'em where he could find the Lord, an' they said he was way
up in heaven so nobody couldn't see him but the angels, but he liked
folks to _work_ for him instead of fight. So Ferus wanted to know what
kind of work he could do, an' the people said there was a river not far
off, where there wasn't no ferry-boats, cos the water run so fast, an'
they guessed if he'd carry folks across, the Lord would like it. So
Ferus went there, an' he cut him a good, strong cane, an' whenever
anybody wanted to go across the river he'd carry 'em on his back.
"One night he was sittin' in his little house by the fire, an' smokin'
his pipe an' readin' the paper, an' 'twas rainin' an' blowin' an'
hailin' an' stormin', an' he was so glad there wasn't anybody wantin' to
go 'cross the river, when he heard somebody call one 'Ferus!' An' he
looked out the window, but he couldn't see nobody, so he sat down again.
Then somebody called 'Ferus!' again, and he opened the door again, an'
there was a little bit of a boy, 'bout as big as Toddie. An' Ferus said,
'Hello, young fellow, does your mother know you're out?' An' the little
boy said, 'I want to go 'cross the river.'--'Well,' says Ferus, 'you're
a mighty little fellow to be travelin' alone, but hop up.' So the little
boy jumped up on Ferus's back, and Ferus walked into the water. Oh,
my--_wasn't_ it cold? An' every step he took that little boy got
heavier, so Ferus nearly tumbled down an' they liked to both got
drownded. An' when they got across the river Ferus said, 'Well, you
_are_ the heaviest small fry I ever carried,' and he turned around to
look at him, an' 'twasn't no little boy at all--'twas a big man--'twas
Christ. An' Christ said, 'Ferus, I heard you was tryin' to work for me,
so I thought I'd come down an' see you, an' not let you know who I was.
An' now you shall have a new name; you shall be called _Christ_offerus,
cos that means Christ-carrier.' An' everybody called him Christofferus
after that, an' when he died they called him _Saint_ Christopher, cos
Saint is what they called good people when they're dead."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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