American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
I acted upon the suggestion, and led the way to the woods. I had not had
occasion to seek a hickory sapling before for years; not since the war,
in fact, when I learned how hot a fire small hickory sticks would make.
I had not sought wood for whistles since--gracious, nearly a quarter of
a century ago! The dissimilar associations called up by these
recollections threatened to put me in a frame of mind which might have
resulted in a bad poem, had not my nephews kept up a lively succession
of questions such as no one but children can ask. The whistles
completed, I was marched, with music, to the place where the "Jacks"
grew. It was just such a place as boys instinctively delight in--low,
damp, and boggy, with a brook hiding treacherously away under
overhanging ferns and grasses. The children knew by sight the plant
which bore the "Jacks," and every discovery was announced by a piercing
shriek of delight. At first I looked hurriedly toward the brook as each
yell clove the air; but, as I became accustomed to it, my attention was
diverted by some exquisite ferns. Suddenly, however, a succession of
shrieks announced that something was wrong, and across a large fern I
saw a small face in a great deal of agony. Budge was hurrying to the
relief of his brother, and was soon as deeply imbedded as Toddie was in
the rich black mud, at the bottom of the brook. I dashed to the rescue,
stood astride the brook, and offered a hand to each boy, when a
treacherous tuft of grass gave way, and, with a glorious splash, I went
in myself. This accident turned Toddie's sorrow to laughter, but I can't
say I made light of my misfortune on that account. To fall into _clean_
water is not pleasant, even when one is trout-fishing; but to be clad in
white pants, and suddenly drop nearly knee-deep in the lap of mother
Earth is quite a different thing. I hastily picked up the children, and
threw them upon the bank, and then wrathfully strode out myself, and
tried to shake myself as I have seen a Newfoundland dog do. The shake
was not a success--it caused my trouser-leg to flap dismally about my
ankles, and sent the streams of loathsome ooze trickling down into my
shoes. My hat, of drab felt, had fallen off by the brookside, and been
plentifully spattered as I got out. I looked at my youngest nephew with
speechless indignation.
"Uncle Harry," said Budge, "'twas real good of the Lord to let you be
with us, else Toddie might have been drownded."
"Yes," said I, "and I shouldn't have much--"
"Ocken Hawwy," cried Toddie, running impetuously toward me, pulling me
down, and patting my cheek with his muddy black hand, "I _loves_ you for
takin' me out de water."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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