American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
Danny Burke was discharged.
A certain distinguished ex-President of the United States probably would
have said that he was discharged for "pernicious activity"; but the head
of the branch messenger-office merely said that he was "an infernal
nuisance."
Danny was a good union man. As a matter of fact, he was a boy, and a
small boy at that; but he would have scorned any description that did
not put him down as "a good union man." Danny's environment had been one
of uncompromising unionism, and that was what ailed him. He wanted to
advance the union idea. To this end, he undertook to organize the other
messengers in the branch office, advancing all the arguments that he had
heard his mother and his father use in their discussions. The boys
thought favorably of the scheme, but most of them were inclined to let
some one else do the experimenting. It might result disastrously. Just
to encourage them, Danny became insolent, as he had already become
inattentive; he told the manager what he would do and what he would not
do, and positively declined to deliver a message that would carry his
work a few minutes beyond quitting-time.
Then Danny was discharged--and he laughed. Discharge _him_! Well, he'd
show them a thing or two.
"We'll arbitrate," he announced.
"Get out!" ordered the manager.
"You got to arbitrate," insisted Danny. "You got to confer with your men
or you're goin' to have a strike!" Danny had heard so much about
conferences that he felt he was on safe ground now. "We can't stand fer
no autycrats!" he added. "You got to meet your men fair an' talk it
over. A committee--"
"Get out!" repeated the manager, rising from his desk, near which the
waiting boys were seated.
"Men," yelled Danny, "I calls a strike an' a boycott!"
Two of the boys rose as if to follow him, but the manager was too quick.
He had Danny by the collar before Danny knew what had happened, and the
struggling boy was marched to the door and pushed out. The boys who had
risen promptly subsided.
Danny was too astonished for words. In all his extended hearsay
knowledge of strikes he never had heard of anything like this. There was
nothing heroic in it at all. He had expected a conference, and, instead,
he was ignominiously handled and thrust into the street.
Danny sat down on a pile of paving-stones to think it over. Without
reasoning the matter out, he now regarded himself as a union. The other
members had deserted him, but he was on a strike; and somehow he had
absorbed the idea that the men who were striking were always the union
men. So, this being a strike of one, he was an entire union. It did not
take him long to decide that the first thing to do was to "picket the
plant." That was a familiar phrase, and he knew the meaning of it.
Everything was nicely arranged for him, too. The street was being paved,
and he was sitting on some paving-stones, with a pile of gravel beside
him. He selected fifteen or twenty of the largest stones from the
gravel-pile.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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