American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
Bill was perforce compelled to submit to this inequitable adjustment of
his claim to a share of the stakes; and of course agreed to swear to
the game of mumble-peg. All this was settled, and a pig driven into the
ground, slyly and hurriedly, between Simon's legs as he sat on the
ground, just as the old man reached the spot. He carried under his left
arm several neatly-trimmed sprouts of formidable length, while in his
left hand he held one which he was intently engaged in divesting of its
superfluous twigs.
"Soho, youngsters!--_you_ in the fence corner, and the _crap_ in the
grass. What saith the Scriptur', Simon? 'Go to the ant, thou sluggard,'
and so forth and so on. What in the round creation of the yearth have
you and that nigger been a-doin'?"
Bill shook with fear, but Simon was cool as a cucumber, and answered his
father to the effect that they had been wasting a little time in the
game of mumble-peg.
"Mumble-peg! mumble-peg!" repeated old Mr. Suggs. "What's that?"
Simon explained the process of _rooting_ for the peg: how the operator
got upon his knees, keeping his arms stiff by his sides, leaned forward,
and extracted the peg with his teeth.
"So you git _upon your knees_, do you, to pull up that nasty little
stick! You'd better git upon 'em to ask mercy for your sinful souls and
for a dyin' world. But let's see one o' you git the peg up now."
The first impulse of our hero was to volunteer to gratify the curiosity
of his worthy sire, but a glance at the old man's countenance changed
his "notion," and he remarked that "Bill was a long ways the best hand."
Bill, who did not deem Simon's modesty an omen very favorable to
himself, was inclined to reciprocate, compliments with his young
master; but a gesture of impatience from the old man set him instantly
upon his knees, and, bending forward, he essayed to lay hold with his
teeth of the peg, which Simon, just at that moment, very wickedly pushed
a half inch further down. Just as the breeches and hide of the boy were
stretched to the uttermost, old Mr. Suggs brought down his longest
hickory, with both hands, upon the precise spot where the tension was
greatest. With a loud yell, Bill plunged forward, upsetting Simon, and
rolled in the grass, rubbing the castigated part with fearful energy.
Simon, though overthrown, was unhurt; and he was mentally complimenting
himself upon the sagacity which had prevented his illustrating the game
of mumble-peg for the paternal amusement, when his attention was
arrested by the old man's stooping to pick up something--what is it?--a
card upon which Simon had been sitting, and which, therefore, had not
gone with the rest of the pack into his pocket. The simple Mr. Suggs had
only a vague idea of the pasteboard abomination called _cards_; and
though he decidedly inclined to the opinion that this was one, he was by
no means certain of the fact. Had Simon known this he would certainly
have escaped; but he did not. His father, assuming the look of extreme
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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