American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
"It was the recent visit of Doctor Laura Phelps, Sister Sarah," meekly
replied the smaller woman. "She lost a magazine while here and Adnah
found it. The publication contained several love stories, so-called, an
illustrated article on 'Young Captains of Industry' and another on
'Handsome Young Men of the Stage.' I burned the pernicious thing as soon
as it came into my hands, but, alas, the damage had been done!"
"Damage, indeed, Sister Ann!" snapped the other. "Since the age of five,
poor Sister Jane's orphan has never been permitted to see a man. Big
country girls have even been hired to do our farm work. And this, _this_
is the end of fourteen years of self-sacrificing care!"
The young man in the pool cautiously ducked his head under the water. A
mosquito had settled back of his ear and was driving him mad.
"Dreadful!" moaned Sister Ann. "Adnah goes about sighing all the day,
and looks over-long in the mirror, and takes unseemly pains with her
dressing, and does up her hair with flowers, and has feverishly pink
cheeks, and likes to sit in a corner and brood, and takes long walks by
herself, and especially, _especially_, seems fond of moonlight!"
A snake slid down off the bushes into the water near the young man and
he "wanted out," but he stayed.
"Moonlight!" sniffed Sarah. "Moonlight!" There is no language to express
the disdain with which she spoke this word of philandering and
frivolity.
"Moonlight is very pretty," ventured the other. "I rather like it
myself."
"At _your_ time of life!" retorted Sister Sarah. "You are too
sentimental, Sister Ann, as well as too careless."
Thank Heaven they were going! The young man waited until their voices
died in the distance, then crept cautiously to the bank. He had to find
those dogs, and in a hurry. He had just seated himself to put on his
shoes for the search, when he again heard the voices of women and once
more plunged into the pool, like a monster yellow frog, as he reflected
he must seem to the squirrel in the tree.
"But, Aunt Matilda, how do you know?" he heard as he came up under the
willows. This new voice, sweet and limpid, belonged to a girl of such
striking appearance that the young man was on the point of forgetting
his dilemma--until that infernal mosquito settled down back of his ear
again!
"My dear Adnah," said a jerky little voice in answer, "your aunts,
remember, were all young once, and considered great beauties in their
day." There was a world of gentle pride in Aunt Matilda's voice as she
said this, and it sounded so well that she said it over again. "Great
beauties in their day! In consequence they all had their experiences
with men, and know that there is not one to be trusted. Not one, my
child, not one! Believe your aunts."
"It seems impossible, aunty," declared the soft voice of Adnah. "Why, in
that magazine were the pictures of some of the most noble-looking
creatures--"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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