American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
Aunt Matilda paused for a sigh and fixed her eyes in sad reminiscence
upon a little clump of ferns that, full of conceit, were waving
incessant salutes at their dainty reflections in the water.
"Hang the story of her life!" muttered the miserable youth in the pool.
His teeth were beginning to chatter.
"Do go on, aunty!" cried the eager Adnah.
"Well, child, they were all alike. Having insinuated their way into our
confidences by agreeable manners and by their really indisputable
attractiveness, having aroused the beginnings of tender emotions, what
did these young men do, one and all? Why, instead of waiting until the
acquaintance had ripened into mutual undying affection and then falling
gracefully to their knees with honorable proposals of marriage, they one
and all chose what seemed to be favorable moments and strove, by
cajolery or stealth or even force, to kiss us. To _kiss_ us!"
"Gracious!" exclaimed Adnah.
There was a moment's silence. The young man in the pool could feel the
goose-flesh pimpling between his shoulder blades.
"After all, though, it might not have been so very dreadful," finally
commented Adnah, after a thoughtful sigh.
"Adnah!" cried the horrified Aunt Matilda. "I am astounded!"
"I can't help it, aunty," said Adnah. "I can't make it seem so terrible,
no matter how hard I try. In fact it--it seems to me that it would have
been--well--rather nice."
"Adnah!"
"But, aunty, didn't it ever seem that way to you, sometimes?"
Aunt Matilda was shocked and silent for a moment, then over her pale
cheeks crept a pink flush.
"I'll not deny," she presently confessed in a hesitant voice, "that if
we had not had each other to rely upon for firmness we might perhaps
have been deluded by some of these young scapegraces. They were truly
quite appealing at times. There was one in particular--"
Again Aunt Matilda became lost in meditation. The young man in the pool
swore softly, even though he perceived the tear that trembled upon the
lady's eyelash. It was impossible to be sympathetic while a leech was
fastened to his ankle.
"My mother must have thought the way I do, I am sure," persisted Adnah.
The remark brought Aunt Matilda out of the past with a jerk.
"Your poor mother had the most pitiful experience of all, child," she
replied. "She married. Shortly after you were born, she died,
fortunately spared all knowledge of your father's faithless fickleness.
Adnah, he, too, married again! You, Adnah, was too young to protect
yourself from a stepmother, but we came to your rescue. Your great
uncle, Peter, had just died and left us this fine estate, and here we
are, trying to shield you from the wiles of the destroyer, man!"
"Some men must be nice, or so many, many girls would not want them,"
commented Adnah, still unconvinced.
"I'll not deny, dear, that some of them _seem_ quite nice," admitted the
other with a sigh. "There was one in particular--"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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