It' verre long, long tam', ma frien', I'm leeve on Bourbonnais, I'm keep de gen'rale merchandise, I'm prom'nent man, dey say; I'm sell mos' every t'ing dere ees, From sulky plow to sock, I don' care w'at you ask me for, You'll fin' it in my stock. Las' w'ek dere was de _petite fille_ Of ma frien', Gosse, he com' Into ma shop to get stock_ing_, She want to buy her som'; She was herself not verre ol', Near twelve year, I suppose; She com' to me an' say, "M'sieu, I wan' to buy som' hose." I always mak' de custom rule, No matter who it ees, To be polite an' eloquent In transack of ma beez; I say to her, "For who you wan' Dese stockings to be wear?" She say she need wan pair herself, Also for small bruddere. She say her bruddere's eight years ol' An' coming almos' nine, An' I am twelve, mos' near t'irteen, Dat size will do for mine: An' modder she will tak' beeg pair, She weigh 'bout half a ton, She wan' de size of forty year Go_ing_ on forty-one. THE TALKING HORSE BY JOHN T. McINTYRE Upon a fence across the way was posted a "twenty-four sheet block stand," and along the top, in big red letters, it read: "_H. Wellington Sheldon Presents_" Then followed the names of a half dozen famous operatic stars. Bat Scranton sat regarding it silently for a long time; but after he had placed himself behind his third big cigar he joined in the talk. "In fifteen years dubbing about this great and glorious," said he, "I never run across a smoother piece of goods than old Cap. Sheldon. To see him, now, in his plug hat, frock coat and white English whiskers, you'd spot him as the main squeeze in a prosperous bank. He's doing the Frohman stunt, too," and Bat nodded toward the poster, "and he handles it with exceeding grace. When I see him after the curtain falls upon a bunch of Verdi or Wagner stuff, come out and bow his thanks to a house full of the town's swellest, and throw out a little spiel with an aristocratic accent, I always think of the time when I first met him.