American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
"And _you'll_ come?"
"Just watch me!"
"Ezra, are you happy?"
"That depends on Jones."
"Oh, isn't it exciting?"
"I have the ring in my pocket--"
"But touch wood, won't you?"
"Freddy?"
"Yes--"
"What's the matter with getting some forget-me-nots and mailing them to
Jones in an envelope?"
"All right, I'll attend to it. Eighteen ninety-two Eighth Avenue, isn't
it?"
"Be sure it _is_ forget-me-nots, you know. Don't mix up the language of
flowers, and send him one that says: 'I'm off with a handsomer man,' or,
'You needn't come round any more!'"
"Oh, Ezra, Eleanor is really getting quite worked up!"
"So am I!"
"Wouldn't it be perfectly splendid if--Switch off quick, here's aunt
coming!"
"Mayn't I even say I love you?"
"I daren't say it back, Ezra--she's calling."
"But _do_ you?"
"Yes, unfortunately--"
"Why unfortun--?"
Buzz-buzz-swizzleum-bux-bux!--Aunt had cut us off. However, short as my
talk with Freddy had been, it brightened my whole day.
Late the same afternoon I went back to Doctor Jones. I was prepared to
find him uplifted, but I hadn't counted on his being maudlin. The fellow
was drunk, positively drunk--with happiness. His tongue ran on like a
mill-stream. I had to sit down and have the whole Pullman-car episode
inflicted on me a second time. I was shown the receipt-slip. I was shown
the telegram from Eleanor. I was shown with a whoop the forget-me-nots!
Then he was going on Saturday? I asked. He said he guessed it would take
an earthquake to keep him away, and a pretty big earthquake, too!... Oh,
it was a great moment, and all the greater because I was tremendously
worked up, too. I saw Freddy floating before me, my sweet, girlish,
darling Freddy, holding out her arms ... while Jones gassed and gassed
and gassed....
I left him taking phenacetin for his headache.
III
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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