American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
Now, sir, I would not have it by any means inferred from this that the
gentleman from Minnesota would insinuate that the people out in his
section desire this timber merely for the purpose of fencing up their
farms, so that their stock may not wander off and die of starvation
among the bleak hills of the St. Croix. (Laughter.) I read it for no
such purpose, sir, and make no such comment on it myself. In
corroboration of this statement of the gentleman from Minnesota, I find
this testimony given by the honorable gentleman from Wisconsin (Mr.
Washburn). Speaking of these same lands, he says:
"Under the bill, as amended by my friend from Minnesota, nine tenths of
the land is open to actual settlers at $2.50 per acre; the remaining one
tenth is pine-timbered land, that is not fit for settlement, and never
will be settled upon; but the timber will be cut off. I admit that it is
the most valuable portion of the grant, for most of the grant is not
valuable. It is quite valueless; and if you put in this amendment of the
gentleman from Indiana, you may as well just kill the bill, for no man
and no company will take the grant and build the road."
I simply pause here to ask some gentleman better versed in the science
of mathematics than I am to tell me, if the timbered lands are in fact
the most valuable portion of that section of country, and they would be
entirely valueless without the timber that is on them, what the
remainder of the land is worth which has no timber on it at all.
(Laughter.)
But further on I find a most entertaining and instructive interchange of
views between the gentleman from Arkansas (Mr. Rogers), the gentleman
from Wisconsin (Mr. Washburn), and the gentleman from Maine (Mr. Peters)
upon the subject of pine lands generally, which I will tax the patience
of the House to read:--
"Mr. Rogers. Will the gentleman allow me to ask him a question?
"Mr. Washburn, of Wisconsin. Certainly.
"Mr. Rogers. Are these pine lands entirely worthless except for timber?
"Mr. Washburn, of Wisconsin. They are generally! worthless for any other
purpose. I am perfectly familiar with that subject. These lands are not
valuable for purposes of settlement.
"Mr. Farnsworth. They will be after the timber is taken off?
"Mr. Washburn, of Wisconsin. No, sir.
"Mr. Rogers. I want to know the character of these pine lands.
"Mr. Washburn, of Wisconsin. They are generally sandy, barren lands. My
friend from the Green Bay district (Mr. Sawyer) is himself perfectly
familiar with this question, and he will bear me out in what I say, that
these pine-timber lands are not adapted to settlement.
"Mr. Rogers. The pine lands to which I am accustomed are generally very
good. What I want to know is, what is the difference between our pine
lands and your pine lands?
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