American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
"Mr. Washburn, of Wisconsin. The pine timber of Wisconsin generally
grows upon barren, sandy land. The gentleman from Maine (Mr. Peters),
who is familiar with pine lands, will, I have no doubt, say that pine
timber grows generally upon the most barren lands.
"Mr. Peters. As a general thing pine lands are not worth much for
cultivation."
And further on I find this pregnant question, the joint production of
the two gentlemen from Wisconsin:--
"Mr. Paine. Does my friend from Indiana suppose that in any event
settlers will occupy and cultivate these pine lands?
"Mr. Washburn, of Wisconsin. Particularly without a railroad?"
Yes, sir, "particularly without a railroad." It will be asked after a
while, I am afraid, if settlers will go anywhere unless the Government
builds a railroad for them to go on. (Laughter.)
I desire to call attention to only one more statement, which I think
sufficient to settle the question. It is one made by the gentleman from
Wisconsin (Mr. Paine), who says:--
"These lands will be abandoned for the present. It may be that at some
remote period there will spring up in that region a new kind of
agriculture, which will cause a demand for these particular lands; and
they may then come into use and be valuable for agricultural purposes.
But I know, and I can not help thinking that my friend from Indiana
understands, that for the present, and for many years to come, these
pine lands can have no possible value other than that arising from the
pine timber which stands on them."
Now, sir, who, after listening to this emphatic and unequivocal
testimony of these intelligent, competent and able-bodied witnesses
(laughter), who that is not as incredulous as St. Thomas himself, will
doubt for a moment that the Goshen of America is to be found in the
sandy valleys and upon the pine-clad hills of St. Croix? (Laughter.) Who
will have the hardihood to rise in his seat on this floor and assert
that, excepting the pine bushes, the entire region would not produce
vegetation enough in ten years to fatten a grasshopper? (Great
laughter.) Where is the patriot who is willing that his country shall
incur the peril of remaining another day without the amplest railroad
connection with such an inexhaustible mine of agricultural wealth?
(Laughter.) Who will answer for the consequences of abandoning a great
and warlike people, in possession of a country like that, to brood over
the indifference and neglect of their Government? (Laughter.) How long
would it be before they would take to studying the Declaration of
Independence, and hatching out the damnable heresy of secession? How
long before the grim demon of civil discord would rear again his horrid
head in our midst, "gnash loud his iron fangs, and shake his crest of
bristling bayonets"? (Laughter.)
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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