American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
"I should think that a dozen would be about the right number," said Lord
Frederic, replying to Mr. Carteret. "It would be very imposing."
"Too many!" said the Major. "We must mount them on good horses and I
don't want my entire stable ruined by men who have never lepped a
fence."
"I think the Major is right about the matter of numbers," said Mr.
Carteret. "How would three do?"
"Make it three," said the Major.
Before dinner was over a reply came from Grady saying that he and three
bucks would be pleased to arrive Thursday morning prepared for a hunting
party.
This took place on Monday, and at various times during Tuesday and
Wednesday, Mr. Carteret gave the subject thought. By Thursday morning
his views had ripened. He ordered his tea and eggs to be served in his
room and came down a little past ten dressed in morning clothes. He
wandered into the dining-room and found Mrs. Ascott-Smith sitting by the
fire entertaining Lord Frederic, as he went to and from the sideboard in
search of things to eat.
"Good morning," said Mr. Carteret, hoarsely.
Lord Frederic looked around and as he noticed Mr. Carteret's morning
clothes his face showed surprise.
"Hello!" he said, "you had better hurry and change, or you will be late.
We have to start in half an hour to meet Grady."
Mr. Carteret coughed. "I don't think that I can go out to-day. It is a
great disappointment."
"Not going hunting?" exclaimed Mrs. Ascott-Smith. "What is the matter?"
"I have a bad cold," said Mr. Carteret miserably.
"But, my dear fellow," exclaimed Lord Frederic, "it will do your cold a
world of good!"
"Not a cold like mine," said Mr. Carteret.
"But this is the day, don't you know?" said Lord Frederic. "How am I
going to manage things without you?"
"All that you have to do is to meet them at the station and take them to
the meet," said Mr. Carteret. "Everything else has been arranged."
"But I'm awfully disappointed," said Lord Frederic. "I had counted on
you to help, don't you see, and introduce them to Ploversdale. It would
be more graceful for an American to do it than for me. You understand?"
"Yes," said Mr. Carteret, "I understand. It's a great disappointment,
but I must bear it philosophically."
Mrs. Ascott-Smith looked at him sympathetically, and he coughed twice.
"You are suffering," she said. "Lord Frederic, you really must not urge
him to expose himself. Have you a pain here?" she inquired, touching
herself in the region of the pleura.
"Yes," said Mr. Carteret, "it is rather bad, but I daresay that it will
soon be better."
"I am afraid that it may be pneumonia," said his hostess. "You must take
a medicine that I have. They say that it is quite wonderful for
inflammatory colds. I'll send Hodgson for it," and she touched the bell.
"Please, please don't take that trouble," entreated Mr. Carteret.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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