The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VIII (of X) — John Shaqi
The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VIII (of X)
General
The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VIII (of X)
American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
"At the first I thought," said Lady Violet, "that they were attired in
painted fleshings, but upon using my glass, it was clear that I was
mistaken. Otherwise, I should have brought them away at the first
moment."
"I see," said Mr. Carteret. "It is outrageous."
"It is indeed!" said Lady Violet; "but the matter will not be allowed to
drop. They were brought to the meet by that young profligate, Lord
Frederic Westcote."
"You surprise me," said Mr. Carteret, wholly without shame. He bowed,
started his horse, and jogged along for five minutes, then he turned to
the right upon a crossroad and suddenly found himself upon the hounds.
They were feathering excitedly about the mouth of a tile drain into
which the fox had evidently gone. No master, huntsmen nor whips were in
sight, but sitting, wet and mud daubed, upon horses dripping with muddy
water were Grady dressed in cowboy costume and three naked Indians. Mr.
Carteret glanced about over the country and understood. They had swum
the brook at the place where it ran between steep clay banks and the
rest of the field had gone around to the bridge. As he looked toward the
south, he saw Lord Ploversdale riding furiously toward him followed by
Smith, the first whip. Grady had not recognized him turned out in pink
as he was, and for the moment he decided to remain incognito.
Before Lord Ploversdale, Master of Fox-hounds, reached the road, he
began waving his crop. He appeared excited. "What do you mean by riding
upon my hounds?" he shouted. He said this in several ways with various
accompanying phrases, but neither the Indians nor Grady seemed to notice
him. It occurred to Mr. Carteret that although Lord Ploversdale's power
of expression was wonderful for England, it, nevertheless, fell short of
Arizona standards. Then, however, he noticed that Grady was absorbed in
adjusting a kodak camera, with which he was evidently about to take a
picture of the Indians alone with the hounds. He drew back in order both
to avoid being in the field of the picture and to avoid too close
proximity with Lord Ploversdale as he came over the fence into the road.
"What do you mean, sir!" shouted the enraged Master of Fox-hounds, as he
pulled up his horse.
"A little more in the middle," replied Grady, still absorbed in taking
the picture.
Lord Ploversdale hesitated. He was speechless with surprise for the
moment.
Grady pressed the button and began putting up the machine.
"What do you mean by riding on my hounds, you and these persons?"
demanded Lord Ploversdale.
"We didn't," said Grady amiably, "but if your bunch of dogs don't know
enough to keep out of the way of a horse, they ought to learn."
Lord Ploversdale looked aghast, and Smith, the whip, pinched himself to
make sure that he was not dreaming.
"Many thanks for your advice," said Lord Ploversdale. "May I inquire who
you and your friends may be?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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