American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
"Well, well, I know all that," said her husband, conciliatingly, a
trifle easier now that the sunbonnet was for the moment turned aside.
"That's all true, mighty true. But what kin you _do_?"
"Do? Why, do _somethin'_! Somebody sho' ought to suffer for this here.
This new-fangled railroad a-comin' through here, a-killing things an'
a-killing _folks_! Why, Bud Sowers said just the other week he heard of
three darkies gittin' killed in one bunch down to Allenville. They
standin' on the track, jes' talkin' and visitin' like. Didn't notice
nuthin'. Didn't notice the train a-comin'. 'Biff!' says Bud; an' thah
was them darkies."
"Yes," said Mr. Bowles, "that's the way it was with Muley. She just walk
up out'n the cane, and stan' thah in the sun on ther track, to sort o'
look aroun' whah she could see free for a little ways. Then, 'long comes
the railroad train, an' biff! Thah's Muley!"
"Plumb daid."
"Plumb daid."
"And she a good cow fer us fer fo'teen yeahs. It don't look exactly
right, now, does it? It sho' don't."
"It's a outrage, that's whut it is," said Sar' Ann Bowles.
"Well, we got the railroad," said her husband, tentatively.
"Yes, we got the railroad," said Sar' Ann Bowles, savagely, "and what
yearthly good is hit? Who wants any railroad? Why, all the way here this
mornin', I was skeered every foot of the way, afearin' that there ingine
was goin' to come along an' kill us both!"
"Sho! Sar' Ann," said her husband, with superiority. "It ain't time for
the train yit--leastwise I don't think it is." He looked about uneasily.
"That's all right, Jim Bowles. One of them ingines might come 'long most
any time. It might creep up behine you, then, biff! Thah's Jim Bowles!
Whut use is the railroad, I'd like to know? I wouldn't be caught a
climbin' in one o' them thar kyars, not for big money. Supposin' it run
off the track?"
"Oh, well, now," said her husband, "maybe it don't, always."
"But supposin' it _did_?" The front of the telescope turned toward him
suddenly, and so burning was the focus this time that Mr. Bowles shifted
his seat, and took refuge upon another board at the other end of the
board-pile, out of range.
"Whut made you vote for this yere railroad?" said Sarah Ann, following
him mercilessly with the bonnet tube. "We didn't want no railroad. We
never did have one, and we never ought to a-had one. You listen to me;
that railroad is goin' to ruin this country. Th' ain't a woman in these
yeah bottoms but would be skeered to have a baby grow up in her house.
Supposin' you got a baby; nice little baby, never did harm no one. You
a-cookin' or somethin'--out to the smoke-house, like enough; baby alone
for about two minutes. Baby crawls out on to the railroad track. Along
comes the ingine, an' biff! Thah's baby!" Mrs. Bowles shed tears at this
picture which she had conjured up, and even her less imaginative consort
became visibly affected, so that for a moment he half-straightened up.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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