American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
"Lecz--what?" said he.
"Leczinski," she repeated.
"How do you spell it?"
"L-e-c-z-i-n-s-k-i."
"Good. Capital. You have a real gift for spelling," he exclaimed.
"Will you be quiet," she said, severely, "and answer my question? Are
you familiar with the name?"
"I should never venture to be familiar with a name I didn't know," he
asserted.
"Ah, you don't know it? You have never heard of Stanislas Leczinska, who
was king of Poland? Of Marie Leczinska, who married Louis VI?"
"Oh, to be sure. I remember. The lady whose portrait one sees at
Versailles."
"Quite so. Very well," she continued, "the last representative of the
Leczinskis, in the elder line, was the Princess Anna Leczinska, who, in
1858, married the Duke of Zeln. She was the daughter of John Leczinski,
Duke of Grodnia and Governor of Galicia, and of the Archduchess
Henrietta d'Este, a cousin of the Emperor of Austria. She was also a
great heiress, and an extremely handsome woman. But the Duke of Zeln was
a bad lot, a viveur, a gambler, a spendthrift. His wife, like a fool,
made her entire fortune over to him, and he proceeded to play ducks and
drakes with it. By the time their son was born he'd got rid of the last
farthing. Their son wasn't born till '63, five years after their
marriage. Well, and then, what do you suppose the Duke did?"
"Reformed, of course. The wicked husband always reforms when a child is
born, and there's no more money," he generalized.
"You know perfectly well what he did," said she. "He petitioned the
German Diet to annul the marriage. You see, having exhausted the dowry
of the Princess Anna, it occurred to him that if she could only be got
out of the way, he might marry another heiress, and have the spending of
another fortune."
"Clever dodge," he observed. "Did it come off?"
"It came off, all too well. He based his petition on the ground that the
marriage had never been--I forget what the technical term is. Anyhow, he
pretended that the princess had never been his wife except in name, and
that the child couldn't possibly be his. The Emperor of Austria stood by
his connection, like the royal gentleman he is; used every scrap of
influence he possessed to help her. But the duke, who was a Protestant
(the princess was of course a Catholic), the duke persuaded all the
Protestant States in the Diet to vote in his favour. The Emperor of
Austria was powerless, the Pope was powerless. And the Diet annulled the
marriage."
"Ah," said the mandarin.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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