Never's hot where Jim is-- When the town is sweatin'; He jes' sets and answers,-- "Well, _I_ ain't a-frettin'!" Never's cold where Jim is-- None of _us_ misdoubt it, Seein' we're nigh frozen! _He_ "ain't _thought_ about it!" Things that rile up others Never seem to strike him! "Trouble-proof," I call it,-- Wisht that I was like him! FOOTNOTES: [1] Lippincott's Magazine. JOHNNY'S PA BY WILBUR D. NESBIT My pa--he always went to school, He says, an' studied hard. W'y, when he's just as big as me He knew things by the yard! Arithmetic? He knew it all From dividend to sum; But when he tells me how it was, My grandma, she says "Hum!" My pa--he always got the prize For never bein' late; An' when they studied joggerfy He knew 'bout every state. He says he knew the rivers, an' Knew all their outs an' ins; But when he tells me all o' that, My grandma, she just grins. My pa, he never missed a day A-goin' to the school, An' never played no hookey, nor Forgot the teacher's rule; An' every class he's ever in, The rest he always led. My grandma, when pa talks that way, Just laughs an' shakes her head. My grandma says 'at boys is boys, The same as pas is pas, An' when I ast her what she means She says it is "because." She says 'at little boys is best When they grows up to men, Because they know how good they was, An' tell their children, then! MAXIMS BY BENJAMIN FRANKLIN Never spare the parson's wine, nor the baker's pudding. A house without woman or firelight is like a body without soul or spirit. Kings and bears often worry their keepers. Light purse, heavy heart. He's a fool that makes his doctor his heir. Ne'er take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in. To lengthen thy life, lessen thy meals. He that drinks fast pays slow. He is ill-clothed who is bare of virtue. Beware of meat twice boil'd, and an old foe reconcil'd. The heart of a fool is in his mouth, but the mouth of a wise man is in his heart. He that is rich need not live sparingly, and he that can live sparingly need not be rich. He that waits upon fortune is never sure of a dinner. NEVADA SKETCHES BY SAMUEL L. CLEMENS IN CARSON CITY