American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
"The scheme's off," said the Kid. "And whenever you have the pleasure of
speaking to me address me as Don Francisco Urique. I'll guarantee I'll
answer to it. We'll let Colonel Urique keep his money. His little tin
safe is as good as the time-locker in the First National Bank of Laredo
as far as you and me are concerned."
"You're going to throw me down, then, are you?" said the consul.
"Sure," said the Kid cheerfully. "Throw you down. That's it. And now
I'll tell you why. The first night I was up at the colonel's house they
introduced me to a bedroom. No blankets on the floor--a real room, with
a bed and things in it. And before I was asleep, in comes this
artificial mother of mine and tucks in the covers. 'Panchito,' she says,
'my little lost one, God has brought you back to me. I bless his name
forever.' It was that, or some truck like that, she said. And down comes
a drop or two of rain and hits me on the nose. And all that stuck by me,
Mr. Thacker. And it's been that way ever since. And it's got to stay
that way. Don't you think that it's for what's in it for me, either,
that I say so. If you have any such ideas, keep 'em to yourself. I
haven't had much truck with women in my life, and no mothers to speak
of, but here's a lady that we've got to keep fooled. Once she stood it;
twice she won't. I'm a low-down wolf, and the devil may have sent me on
this trail instead of God, but I'll travel it to the end. And now, don't
forget that I'm Don Francisco Urique whenever you happen to mention my
name."
"I'll expose you to-day, you--you double-dyed traitor," stammered
Thacker.
The Kid arose and, without violence, took Thacker by the throat with a
hand of steel, and shoved him slowly into a corner. Then he drew from
under his left arm his pearl-handled .45 and poked the cold muzzle of it
against the consul's mouth.
"I told you why I come here," he said, with his old freezing smile. "If
I leave here, you'll be the reason. Never forget it, pardner. Now, what
is my name?"
"Er--Don Francisco Urique," gasped Thacker.
From outside came a sound of wheels, and the shouting of some one, and
the sharp thwacks of a wooden whipstock upon the backs of fat horses.
The Kid put up his gun, and walked toward the door. But he turned again
and came back to the trembling Thacker, and held up his left hand with
its back toward the consul.
"There's one more reason," he said slowly, "why things have got to stand
as they are. The fellow I killed in Laredo had one of them same pictures
on his left hand."
Outside, the ancient landau of Don Santos Urique rattled to the door.
The coachman ceased his bellowing. Senora Urique, in a voluminous gay
gown of white lace and flying ribbons, leaned forward with a happy look
in her great soft eyes.
"Are you within, dear son?" she called, in the rippling Castilian.
"_Madre mio, yo vengo_ [mother, I come]," answered the young Don
Francisco Urique.
AN OLD-TIME SINGER
BY FRANK L. STANTON
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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