American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
"I don't mean to tell you anything!" she cried. "You won't believe a
word I say, and I never had any one doubt my word before. I _hate_ to
have you take that fifteen dollars, though. You never would in the
world, if you knew how much self-denial it stands for. Every time I
think I would like an ice-cream, out in this wilderness, where you might
as well ask for an iceberg, I've made Tom give me the _price_ of one.
You won't find anything but ribbons _there_. And when I've felt as if I
should go wild if I couldn't have a box of Huyler's candy, I've made Tom
give me the price of _that_. There's only powder and tweezers and
frizzes in those boxes," as he went over the top of the dressing-case,
still keeping a lookout on her. "And when we were all out of lager and
apollinaris, and Tom couldn't--that's my laces, and I wish you wouldn't
finger them; I don't believe your hands are clean--and Tom couldn't get
anything to drink, I've made him put in the price of a drink, and lots
of ten-cent pieces came that way, and--But I don't imagine you care to
hear about all that. What makes you look at me so?" For the man had left
his search again, and his glance was piercing her through and through.
"Oh, your eyes are like augers turning to live coals!" she cried. "Is
that the way you look at your wife? Do you look at your children the
same way?"
"That lay won't work," said he, with another grin. "I ain't got no
feelings to work on. I ain't got no wife or kids."
"I'm sure that's fortunate," said Mrs. Laughton. "A family wouldn't have
any peace of their lives with you following such a dangerous business.
And they couldn't see much of you either. I must say I think you'd be a
great deal happier if you reformed--I mean--well, if you left this
business, and took up a quarter-section, and had a wife and--"
"Look here!" cried the man, his patience gone. "Are you a fool, or are
you bluffing me? I've half a mind to knock your head in," he cried,
"and hunt the house over for myself! I would, if there was time."
"You wouldn't find anything if you did," she returned, leaning back in
her chair. "I've looked often enough, when I thought Tom had some money.
I never found any. What are you going to do now?" with a cry of alarm at
his movement.
"I'm going to tie you hand and foot first--"
"Oh, I wouldn't! I'd rather you wouldn't--really! I promise you I won't
leave this chair--"
"I don't mean you shall."
"Oh, how can you treat me so!" she exclaimed, lifting up her streaming
face. "You don't look like a person to treat a woman so. I don't like to
be tied; it makes me feel so helpless."
"What kind of a dumb fool be you, anyway?" said the man, stopping a
moment to stare at her. And he made a step then toward the high chest of
drawers, half bureau, half writing-desk, for a ball of tape he saw lying
there.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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