American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
"Oh!" she cried, remembering the tar-baby. "Don't! Don't go there! For
mercy's sake, don't go there!" raising her voice till it was like the
wind in the chimney. "Oh, please don't go there!" At which, as if
feeling morally, or rather immorally, sure that what he had come for was
in that spot, he seized the handles of the drawer, and down fell the lid
upon his head with a whack that jammed his hat over his eyes and blinded
him with pain and fury for an instant. And in that instant she had
whipped the roll of money from her belt, and had dropped it underneath
her chair. "I knew it!" she cried. "I knew it would! It always does. I
told you not to go."
"You shet your mouth quick!" roared the man, with a splutter of oaths
between each word.
"That's right," she said, leaning over the arm of the chair, her face
like a pitying saint's. "Don't mind me, I always tell Tom to swear, when
he jams his thumb. I know how it is myself when I'm driving a nail. It's
a great relief. I'd put some cold water on your head, but I promised you
I wouldn't stir out of the chair--"
The man went and sat down in the chair on whose back he had been
leaning.
"I swear, I don't know what to make of you," said he, rubbing his head
ruefully.
"You can make friends with me," said she. "That's what you can do. I'm
sure I've shown you that I'm friendly enough. I never believe any harm
of any one till I see it myself. I don't blame you for wanting the
money. I'm always in want of money. I've told you you might take mine,
though I don't want you to. But I shouldn't give you Tom's money, even
if I knew where it was. Tom would kill me if I did, and I might as well
be killed by you as by Tom--and better. You can make friends with me,
and be some protection to me till my husband comes. I'm expecting him
and Jules every moment."
The man started to his feet.
"Do you see that?" he cried, holding his revolver under her nose. "Look
right into that gun! We'll have no more fooling. It'll be your last look
if you don't tell me where that money is before I count three."
She put out her hand and calmly moved it aside.
"I've looked into those things ever since I've lived on the prairie,"
said she. "And I dare say it won't go off--mine won't. Besides, I know
very well you wouldn't shoot a woman, and you can't make bricks without
straw; and then I've told you I don't know anything about that money."
"You are a game one," said he.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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