American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
"No, I'm not," she replied. "I'm the most tremendous coward. I've come
out here in this wild country to live, and I'm alone a great deal, and I
quake at every sound, every creak of a timber, every rustle of the
grass. And you don't know anything about what it is to have your heart
stand still with horror of a wild beast or a wild Indian or a
deserter--a deserting soldier. There's a great Apache down there now,
stretched out in his blanket on the floor, before the fire in the
kitchen. And I came up here as quick as I could, to lock the door behind
us and sit up till Tom came home, and I declare, I never was so thankful
in all my life as I was just now to see a white face when I looked at
you!"
"Well, I'll be--! Apache!" cried the visitor. "See here, little one,
you've saved your husband's money for him. You're a double-handful of
pluck. I haven't any idea but you know where it's hid--but I've got to
be making tracks. If it wasn't for waking that Apache I'd leave Red
Dan's handwriting on the wall."
And almost while he was speaking he had swung himself out of the window
to the roof of the porch and had dropped to the ground and made off.
Mrs. Laughton waited till she thought he must be out of hearing, leaning
out as if she were gazing at the moon. Then she softly shut and fastened
the sash, and crept with shaking limbs to the door and unlocked it, and
fell in a dead faint across the threshold. And there, when he returned
some three-quarters of an hour later, Tom found her.
"Oh, Tom!" she sobbed, when she became conscious that she was lying in
his arms, his heart beating like a trip-hammer, his voice hoarse with
fright as he implored her to open her eyes; "_is_ there an Apache in the
kitchen?"
RUBAIYAT OF MATHIEU LETTELLIER
BY WALLACE BRUCE AMSBARY
Dere's six chil_dren_ in our fam'lee,
Dey's mos'ly girls an' boys;
'Toinette an' me wos t'ankful sure
For all de happy joys;
Dere's Pierre, an' little Rosalie,
Antoine, Marie an' Jeanne,
An' Paul he's com' now soon twelf year,
Mos' close to be a man.
I's lof' all of _la petite femme_,
De garcon mak' me proud,
I haf gr'ad aspiratione
For all dat little crowd;
My Pierre shall be wan doctor mans,
Rosalie will teach school,
Antoine an' Jeanne shall rone de farm,
Marie som' man will rule.
An' Paul shall be a _cure_ sure,
I'll haf heem educate',
I work it all out on my head,
Oh, I am moch elate;
Dis all of course w'en dey grow op;
But I t'ink 'bout it now;
So w'en de tam' was com' for ac',
I'll know de way an' how.
Long tam' ago, w'en Paul firs' com',
He mak' a lot of noise;
He's keep me trot, bot' day an' night,
He was wan naughty boys;
At wan o'clock, at two o'clock,
Annee ol' tam' suit heem,
He's mak' us geeve de gran' parade
Jus' as he tak' de w'im.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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