He wandered what was passing in her mind, and his reflections led to no
very definite result. Even if the idea of her loving him had presented
itself to his intelligence he would have scouted it, partly on the
ground of its apparent improbability, and partly, perhaps, because
he had of late grown really indolent, and would have resented any
occurrence which threatened to disturb the peaceful, objectless course
of his days. He put down her quick changes of mood to sudden caprice,
which he excused readily enough.
“Why are you so silent?” Unorna asked, after a time.
“I was thinking of you,” he answered, with a smile. “And since you
forbade me to speak of you, I said nothing.”
“How literal you are!” she exclaimed impatiently.
“I could see no figurative application of your words,” he retorted,
beginning to be annoyed at her prolonged ill humour.
“Perhaps there was none.”
“In that case--”
“Oh, do not argue! I detest argument in all shapes, and most of all when
I am expected to answer it. You cannot understand me--you never will--”
She broke off suddenly and looked at him.
She was angry with him, with herself, with everything, and in her anger
she loved him tenfold better than before. Had he not been blinded by his
own absolute coldness he must have read her heart in the look she gave
him, for his eyes met hers. But he saw nothing. The glance had been
involuntary, but Unorna was too thoroughly a woman not to know all that
it had expressed and would have conveyed to the mind of any one not
utterly incapable of love, all that it might have betrayed even to this
man who was her friend and talked of being her brother. She realised
with terrible vividness the extent of her own passion and the appalling
indifference of its objet. A wave of despair rose and swept over her
heart. Her sight grew dim and she was conscious of sharp physical pain.
She did not even attempt to speak, for she had no thoughts which could
take the shape of words. She leaned back in her chair, and tried to draw
her breath, closing her eyes, and wishing she were alone.
“What is the matter?” asked the Wanderer, watching her in surprise.
She did not answer. He rose and stood beside her, and lightly touched
her hand.
“Are you ill?” he asked again.
She pushed him away, almost roughly.
“No,” she answered shortly.
Then, all at once, as though repenting of her gesture, her hand sought
his again, pressed it hard for a moment, and let it fall.
“It is nothing,” she said. “It will pass. Forgive me.”
“Did anything I said----” he began.
“No, no; how absurd!”
“Shall I go. Yes, you would rather be alone----” he hesitated.
“No--yes--yes, go away and come back later. It is the heat perhaps; is
it not hot here?”
“I daresay,” he answered absently.
He took her hand and then left her, wondering exceedingly over a matter
which was of the simplest.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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