She led her lovely visitor into a little closet-like room, in
which were a bureau, two chairs, a table, and a small stand,
covered with a number of her business hand-bills and a pack of
cards. She asked first: “What month was you born?” On receiving
the answer, the Astonisher took a book from the bureau and read
as follows: “A person born in this month is of an amiable and
frank disposition, benevolent, and an amiable and desirable
partner in the marriage relation. Your lucky days are Tuesdays
and Thursdays, on which days you may enter on any undertaking, or
attempt any enterprise with a good prospect of success.” Then she
took up the cards again, and after the usual shuffling and
cutting, the Astonisher fired away as follows.
“You face luck, you face prosperity, you face true love and
disinterested affection, you face a speedy marriage, you face a
letter which will come in three days and will contain pleasant
news—you face a ring, you face a present of jewelry done up in a
small package; the latter will come within two hours, two days,
two weeks, or two months—you face an agreeable surprise, you face
the death of a friend, you face the seven of clubs which is the
luckiest card in the pack—you face two gentlemen with a view to
matrimony, one of whom has brown hair and brown eyes, and the
other has lighter hair and blue eyes—they are both thinking of
you at the present time, but the nearest one you face is the one
with light eyes—your marriage runs within six or nine months.”
There was very much more to the same effect, but as Johannes was
pining all this time for a look at his future husband, he did not
pay the strictest attention to it. Finally, when she had finished
talking, she said, “Step this way and see your future husband.”
This was the eventful moment.
The disguised one went to the table and there beheld a pine box,
about the size of an ordinary candle-box, though shallower; it
was unpainted, and decidedly unornamental as an article of
furniture. In one end of it was an aperture about the size of the
eye-hole of a telescope; this was carefully covered with a small
black curtain. This mystic contrivance was placed upon a table so
low that the husband-seeker was compelled to go on his knees to
get his eye down low enough to see through. He accomplished this
feat without grumbling, although his knees were scarified by the
whalebones which surrounded him. The Astonisher then drew aside
the little curtain with a grand flourish, and her customer beheld
an indistinct figure of a bloated face with a mustache, with
black eyes and black hair; it was a hang-dog, thief-like face,
and one that he would not have passed in the street without
involuntarily putting his hands on his pockets to assure himself
that all was right. But he felt that he had no hope of a future
husband if he did not accept this one, and he made up his mind to
be reconciled to the match.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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