The Wizard's Son, Vol. 1 (of 3)Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
General
The Wizard's Son, Vol. 1 (of 3)
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Great Britain -- Fiction; Inheritance and succession -- Fiction; Supernatural -- Fiction
Walter walked along the quiet, almost deserted street with a hasty step
and a still hastier rush of disagreeable thoughts. There was, he felt,
an advantage in being angry, in the sensation of indignant resistance to
a petty tyranny. For a long time past he had taken refuge in this from
every touch of conscience and sense of time lost and opportunities
neglected. He was no genius, but he was not so dull as not to know that
his life was an entirely unsatisfactory one, and himself in the wrong
altogether; everything rotten in the state of his existence, and a great
deal that must be set right one time or another in all his habits and
ways. The misfortune was that it was so much easier to put off this
process till to-morrow than to begin it to-day. He had never been roused
out of the boyish condition of mind in which a certain resistance to
authority was natural, and opposition to maternal rule and law a sort of
proof of superiority and independence. Had this been put into words, and
placed before him as the motive of much that he did, no one would have
coloured more angrily or resented more hotly the suggestion; and yet in
the bottom of his heart he would have known it to be true. All through
his unoccupied days he carried with him the sense of folly, the
consciousness that he could not justify to himself the course he was
pursuing. The daily necessity of justifying it to another was almost the
sole thing that silenced his conscience. His mother, who kept "nagging"
day after day, who was never satisfied, whose appeals he sometimes
thought theatrical, and her passion got up, was his sole defence against
that self-dissatisfaction which is the severest of all criticisms. If
she would but let him alone, leave him to his own initiative, and not
perpetually endeavour to force a change which to be effectual, as all
authorities agreed, must come of itself! He was quite conscious of the
inadequacy of this argument, and in his heart felt that it was a poor
thing to take advantage of it; but yet, on the surface of his mind, put
it forward and made a bulwark of it against his own conscience. He did
so now as he hurried along, in all the heat that follows a personal
encounter. If she would but let him alone! But he could not move a step
anywhere, could not make an engagement, could not step into a friend's
rooms, as he was going to do now, without her interference. The
relations of a parent to an only child are not the same as those that
exist between a father and mother and the different members of a large
family. It has been usual to consider them in one particular light as
implying the closest union and mutual devotion. But there is another
point of view in which to consider the question. They are so near to
each other, and the relationship so close, that there is a possibility
of opposition and contrariety more trying, more absorbing, than any
other except that between husband and wife. A young son does not always
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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