JOHN.--Would your ladyship like to step down into my pantry and see what I've paid with the twenty-five pounds? Did my master leave any orders that your ladyship was to inspect my accounts? LADY K.--Step down into the pantry! inspect your accounts? I never heard such impertinence. What do you mean, sir? K.--Dammy, sir, what do you mean? JOHN.--I thought as her ladyship kept a heye over my master's private book, she might like to look at mine too. LADY K.--Upon my word, this insolence is too much. JOHN.--I beg your ladyship's pardon. I am sure I have said nothing. K.--Said, sir! your manner is mutinous, by Jove, sir! if I had you in the regiment!-- JOHN.--I understood that you had left the regiment, sir, just before it went on the campaign, sir. K.--Confound you, sir! [Starts up.] LADY K.--Clarence, my child, my child! JOHN.--Your ladyship needn't be alarmed; I'm a little man, my lady, but I don't think Mr. Clarence was a-goin' for to hit me, my lady; not before a lady, I'm sure. I suppose, sir, that you WON'T pay the boatman? K.--No, sir, I won't pay him, nor any man who uses this sort of damned impertinence! JOHN.--I told Rullocks, sir, I thought it was JEST possible you wouldn't. [Exit.] K.--That's a nice man, that is--an impudent villain! LADY K.--Ruined by Horace's weakness. He ruins everybody, poor good-natured Horace! K.--Why don't you get rid of the blackguard? LADY K.--There is a time for all things, my dear. This man is very convenient to Horace. Mr. Milliken is exceedingly lazy, and Howell spares him a great deal of trouble. Some day or other I shall take all this domestic trouble off his hands. But not yet: your poor brother-in-law is restive, like many weak men. He is subjected to other influences: his odious mother thwarts me a great deal. K.--Why, you used to be the dearest friends in the world. I recollect when I was at Eton-- LADY K.--Were; but friendship don't last for ever. Mrs. Bonnington and I have had serious differences since I came to live here: she has a natural jealousy, perhaps, at my superintending her son's affairs. When she ceases to visit at the house, as she very possibly will, things will go more easily; and Mr. Howell will go too, you may depend upon it. I am always sorry when my temper breaks out, as it will sometimes. K.--Won't it, that's all! LADY K.--At his insolence, my temper is high; so is yours, my dear. Calm it for the present, especially as regards Howell. K.--Gad! d'you know I was very nearly pitching into him? But once, one night in the Haymarket, at a lobster-shop, where I was with some fellows, we chaffed some other fellows, and there was one fellah--quite a little fellah--and I pitched into him, and he gave me the most confounded lickin' I ever had in my life, since my brother Kicklebury licked me when we were at Eton; and that, you see, was a lesson to me, ma'am. Never trust those little fellows, never chaff 'em: dammy, they may be boxers.