MILLIKEN.--The fact is--my mother-in-law--Lady Kicklebury--doesn't like it, and while she's with us, you know-- TOUCHIT.--Of course, of course [throws away cigar]. I beg her ladyship's pardon. I remember when you were courting her daughter she used not to mind it. MILLIKEN.--Don't--don't allude to those times. [He looks up at his wife's picture.] GEORGE.--My mamma was a Kicklebury. The Kickleburys are the oldest family in all the world. My name is George Kicklebury Milliken, of Pigeoncot, Hants; the Grove, Richmond, Surrey; and Portland Place, London, Esquire--my name is. TOUCHIT.--You have forgotten Billiter Street, hemp and tallow merchant. GEORGE.--Oh, bother! I don't care about that. I shall leave that when I'm a man: when I'm a man and come into my property. MILLIKEN.--You come into your property? GEORGE.--I shall, you know, when you're dead, Papa. I shall have this house, and Pigeoncot; and the house in town--no, I don't mind about the house in town--and I shan't let Bella live with me--no, I won't. BELLA.--No; I won't live with YOU. And I'LL have Pigeoncot. GEORGE.--You shan't have Pigeoncot. I'll have it: and the ponies: and I won't let you ride them--and the dogs, and you shan't have even a puppy to play with and the dairy and won't I have as much cream as I like--that's all! TOUCHIT.--What a darling boy! Your children are brought up beautifully, Milliken. It's quite delightful to see them together. GEORGE.--And I shall sink the name of Milliken, I shall. MILLIKEN.--Sink the name? why, George? GEORGE.--Because the Millikens are nobodies--grandmamma says they are nobodies. The Kickleburys are gentlemen, and came over with William the Conqueror. BELLA.--I know when that was. One thousand one hundred and one thousand one hundred and onety-one! GEORGE.--Bother when they came over! But I know this, when I come into the property I shall sink the name of Milliken. MILLIKEN.--So you are ashamed of your father's name, are you, George, my boy? GEORGE.--Ashamed! No, I ain't ashamed. Only Kicklebury is sweller. I know it is. Grandmamma says so. BELLA.--MY grandmamma does not say so. MY dear grandmamma says that family pride is sinful, and all belongs to this wicked world; and that in a very few years what our names are will not matter. GEORGE.--Yes, she says so because her father kept a shop; and so did Pa's father keep a sort of shop--only Pa's a gentleman now. TOUCHIT.--Darling child! How I wish I were married! If I had such a dear boy as you, George, do you know what I would give him? GEORGE [quite pleased].--What would you give him, god-papa? TOUCHIT.--I would give him as sound a flogging as ever boy had, my darling. I would whip this nonsense out of him. I would send him to school, where I would pray that he might be well thrashed: and if when he came home he was still ashamed of his father, I would put him apprentice to a chimney-sweep--that's what I would do. GEORGE.--I'm glad you're not my father, that's all.