He held that fast--through the weeks and months that went by, through
the dull brick streets, he held it fast--for a moment the hidden
Rosalind had come to her window and looked out at him and smiled--before
she turned away.
XI
THE next day Gordon Barstow had come to see him. The divorce had
dragged on. It had not been contested, but there had been delays and
consultations and Eldridge had come to know Gordon Barstow well.
He had a kind of keen, vicarious pity for Barstow. Sometimes, as he
talked with him and the simple lovableness of the man’s nature came up
through the uncouthness, he wondered whether Gordon Barstow might not
have regained his wife--if he had been determined. But he had let her
go; and after the first day he had seemed to take a kind of pleasure in
the proceedings.
“I’ve been foolish about her,” he said, sitting in Eldridge’s office.
“But I don’t want her to suffer because I’ve been foolish--and I want to
make her an allowance--a good one. I don’t want Cordelia should ever
be poor.” Eldridge looked at him. “Won’t Tower take care of that?” he
suggested.
The old man seemed to hold it--“He’ll mean to. He’s honest toward her.
I shouldn’t let him marry her if he wasn’t straight. But I want Cordelia
provided for.”
And Eldridge suddenly saw that he was thinking of her as a man thinks of
his daughter--protectingly. The soreness seemed to have gone out of his
hurt. And there was something big in his attitude toward the two who had
wronged him. “Cordelia’s only a child,” he said. “I don’t believe
I’d ’a’ minded so much--if they’d trusted me. It’s that that hurts,
I guess--thinking of the times they must ’a’ lied--and I not knowing
enough to see anything was wrong.”
Yes--it was that that hurt--the times Rosalind had slipped away from
him, before he knew--when he hadn’t eyes enough to see. He did not mind
that she went to Merwin’s. Sometimes he was impatient that she did not
go oftener. He would watch eagerly for the look in her face that told
him that to-day was a Merwin day.... He did not mind her going, now that
he knew. It was the not knowing that hurt.
Sometimes, lately, he had begun to wonder whether Rosalind knew that he
was there, whether she guessed who it was that came through the swinging
doors and sat across the aisle, always a little behind her, and went
away before she left her place.... He liked to fancy that she knew--and
did not mind.
Men and women were not so small as he had made them in his thought.
There was room in them generally for life to turn round.
It was this that Gordon Barstow had taught him, he thought. He watched
the old man’s simple preparations to make Cordelia “well off” with quiet
understanding. It was not reparation with him; it was only a steady,
clear intention in the old man’s thought that the woman he had loved and
who had gone from him should not suffer.... “I might have kept her--if
I’d understood quick enough, I guess. I’m slow--about women,” he said.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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