British -- India -- Fiction; India -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
"Other refuge have I none----" But she herself had chosen to seek other
refuge, knowing full well what she did! Should he have tried to prevent
her, to understand her distress, her condition of mind? She was
frightened, indignant, and helpless, whatever her fault; and he had
allowed her to go, had made no effort to save her, because he was
blinded with fury, was jealous and hard, and perhaps unjust.... What was
the story of all those years? He sickened to think. What had she
suffered, endured, to bring her to this--poor little fair Rafella, with
her gentle ways and her narrow knowledge of life?
"Still support and comfort me----" He remembered her protest--how
shocked she had been at his personal rendering of the words, how he had
said in the rain that morning--the morning on which he had told her he
loved her--that he meant to protect and support her as long as he lived.
How had he kept his vow?
"Leave, ah! leave me not alone----" Yes, he had left her alone, had been
harsh and unyielding, without patience, without pity for the "helpless
soul"; he had put her away, condemned her unheard, abandoned her to her
fate....
He walked on, his head bent, his heart racked with a sharp and terrible
remorse; it was his fault, his alone, that she had fallen to this
hideous degradation; and now there was nothing he could do. It was
irredeemable, beyond his power to cancel or to atone.
As he turned into the compound his consciousness came back, as it were,
to the present. The bungalow stood dark and silent, just as he had left
it. Trixie was not there; he knew it, though he went inside and called
her. Alarm again assailed him for her safety, and he paced the drive in
nervous agitation, fearing she was ill, that an accident had happened.
Never had she seemed so dear, so precious to him; that he could have
mistrusted her at all now caused him shamed contrition, and all his
grudging of her gaieties and freedom struck him at this moment in the
light of selfishness and petty tyranny. The recognition, wakened by the
bitter lesson of to-night, of how in time he might have strained her
love and trust beyond endurance, filled him with acute dismay and
consternation.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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