He went for the truth resolutely. He feared it less now, because it
could no longer escape his grasp. And yet how his heart beat, with
great, painful throbs, and how he loathed the idea of taking the road
leading to that other road along which his father had passed sixteen
years before!
A vague movement of Jérôme's hand had told him which way to go. He
crossed the park in the direction of the frontier, bearing to his left
and passing a lodge. At the entrance to the woods was a long avenue of
fir-trees down which he went. Four hundred yards farther it branched
into three narrow avenues. Two of these proved to end in impenetrable
thickets. The third led to the top of a mound, from which he descended,
still keeping to his left, by another avenue of fir-trees.
In selecting this road, Paul realized that it was just this avenue of
firs the appearance of which aroused in him, through some untold
resemblance of shape and arrangement, memories clear enough to guide his
steps. It ran straight ahead for some time and then took a sudden turn
into a cluster of tall beeches whose leafy tops met overhead. Then the
road sloped upwards; and, at the end of the dark tunnel through which he
was walking, Paul perceived the glare of light that points to an open
space.
The anguish of it all made his knees give way beneath him; and he had to
make an effort to proceed. Was it the glade in which his father had
received his death-blow? The more that luminous space became revealed to
his eyes, the more did he feel penetrated with a profound conviction. As
in the room with the portrait, the past was recovering the very aspect
of the truth in and before him.
It was the same glade, surrounded by a ring of trees that presented the
same picture and covered with a carpet of grass and moss which the same
paths divided as of old. The same glimpse of sky was above him, outlined
by the capricious masses of foliage. And there, on his left, guarded by
two yew-trees which Paul recognized, was the chapel.
The chapel! The little old massive chapel, whose lines had etched
themselves like furrows into his brain! Trees grow, become taller, alter
their form. The appearance of a glade is liable to change. Its paths
will sometimes interlock in a different fashion. A man's memory can play
him a trick. But a building of granite and cement is immutable. It takes
centuries to give it the green-gray color that is the mark which time
sets upon the stone; and this bloom of age never alters. The chapel that
stood there, displaying a grimy-paned rose-window in its east front, was
undoubtedly that from which the German Emperor had stepped, followed by
the woman who, ten minutes later, committed the murder.
Paul walked to the door. He wanted to revisit the place in which his
father had spoken to him for the last time. It was a moment of tense
emotion. The same little roof which had sheltered their bicycles
projected at the back; and the door was the same, with its great rusty
clamps and bars.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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