The words and the satisfied way in which they were said made Lady Holme
feel suddenly almost mad with rage. The truth of the statement, and the
disgrace that it was truth, stirred her to the depths. At that moment
she hated her husband, she hated all men. She remembered what Lady
Cardington had said in the carriage as they were driving away from the
Carlton after Mrs. Wolfstein’s lunch, and her sense of impotent fury
was made more bitter by the consciousness that women had chosen that
men should be “different,” or at least--if not that--had smilingly given
them a license to be so. She wanted to say, to call out, so much that
she said nothing. Lord Holme thought that for once he had been clever,
almost intellectual. This was indeed a night of many triumphs for him.
An intoxication of power surged up to his brain.
“Men’s made different and treated differently,” he said. “And they’d
never stand anything else.”
Lady Holme sat down again on the sofa. She put her right hand on her
left hand and held it tightly in her lap.
“You mean,” she said, in a hard, quiet voice, “that you may humiliate
your wife in the eyes of London and that she must just pretend that she
enjoys it and go on being devoted to you? Well, I will not do either the
one or the other. I will not endure humiliation quietly, and as to my
devotion to you--I daresay it wouldn’t take much to kill it. Perhaps
it’s dead already.”
No lie, perhaps, ever sounded more like truth than hers. At that moment
she thought that probably it was truth.
“Eh?” said Lord Holme.
He looked suddenly less triumphant. His blunt features seemed altered
in shape by the expression of blatant, boyish surprise, even amazement,
that overspread them. His wife saw that, despite the incident of Leo
Ulford’s midnight visit, Fritz had not really suspected her of the
uttermost faithlessness, that it had not occurred to him that perhaps
her love for him was dead, that love was alive in her for another man.
Had his conceit then no limits?
And then suddenly another thought flashed into her mind. Was he, too,
a firm, even a fanatical, believer in the angel? She had never numbered
Fritz among that little company of believers. Him she had always set
among the men who worship the sirens of the world. But now--? Can there
be two men in one man as there can be two women in one woman? Suddenly
Fritz was new to her, newer to her than on the day when she first met
him. And he was complex. Fritz complex! She changed the word conceit.
She called it trust. And tears rushed into her eyes. There were tears in
her heart too. She looked up at her husband. The silk bandage over
his forehead had been white. Now it was faintly red. As she looked she
thought that the colour of the red deepened.
“Come here, Fritz,” she said softly.
He moved nearer.
“Bend down!”
“Eh?”
“Bend down your head.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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