I could not say at which station the woman and her baby entered the
train.
Since we had left London, I had been struggling with Baillie's
translation of Hegel's "Phenomenology." It was not a book to read among
such distracting circumstances as those of a railway journey, but I was
eagerly planning a little dissertation of my own at that time, and my
work as a journalist gave me little leisure for quiet study.
I looked up when the woman entered my compartment, though I did not
notice the name of the station. I caught sight of the baby she was
carrying, and turned back to my book. I thought the child was a freak,
an abnormality; and such things disgust me.
I returned to the study of my Hegel and read: "For knowledge is not the
divergence of the ray, but the ray itself by which the truth comes to
us; and if this ray be removed, the bare direction or the empty place
would alone be indicated."
I kept my eyes on the book--the train had started again--but the next
passage conveyed no meaning to my mind, and as I attempted to re-read it
an impression was interposed between me and the work I was studying.
I saw projected on the page before me an image which I mistook at first
for the likeness of Richard Owen. It was the conformation of the head
that gave rise to the mistake, a head domed and massive, white and
smooth--it was a head that had always interested me. But as I looked, my
mind already searching for the reason of this hallucination, I saw that
the lower part of the face was that of an infant. My eyes wandered from
the book, and my gaze fluttered along the four persons seated opposite
to me, till it rested on the reality of my vision. And even as my
attention was thus irresistibly dragged from my book, my mind clung with
a feeble desperation to its task, and I murmured under my breath like a
child repeating a mechanically learned lesson: "Knowledge is not the
divergence of the ray but the ray itself...."
For several seconds the eyes of the infant held mine. Its gaze was
steady and clear as that of a normal child, but what differentiated it
was the impression one received of calm intelligence. The head was
completely bald, and there was no trace of eyebrows, but the eyes
themselves were protected by thick, short lashes.
The child turned its head, and I felt my muscles relax. Until then I had
not been conscious that they had been stiffened. My gaze was released,
pushed aside as it were, and I found myself watching the object of the
child's next scrutiny.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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