Her features were regular without being bold, and were softened by a
crown of blond hair of blended shades, so thick that combs could with
difficulty restrain it. And her eyes, which had been so large before,
seemed to me to have grown even larger. It seemed as if the whole sky
had sought to enter into them. Had I seen her again in the woods, she
would have appeared to me like a huntress, more quickly frightened than
the hunted game.
I have often searched my memory, in order to defend myself against
the fault with which I feel charged, for any physical symptoms which
at that time might have foretold the shortness of her life. I cannot
recall any. Though the doctors were not able to discover the origin of
that strange malady which, after having long sapped her strength, at
last carried her away, I, I know whence it came, and I know too that it
was not her body that was first attacked.
During our separation I had almost avoided going back to her even in
my thought. What with superficial occupation, sport, travel and some
sensual indulgence, ordinarily one is fairly successful in suppressing
such a fancy. The instant I saw her again, however, my love revived.
Had I imprisoned her in the chateau of the Sleeping Woods, and was she
only awaiting my return?
* * *
The summer which I spent on my estate was warm and stormy. The forest
offered us its freshness, its sheltered nooks, its peace. But why was
it that we did not resume our rides? My superintendent evaded any reply
to my suggestions. He had devoted more time than I to observing the
external attractions of his daughter. To her I spoke only with the most
scrupulous deference, for the most part in the presence of her parents,
only occasionally when we met alone, these meetings having now become
rare. Her clear eyes remained inscrutable to me. Why was it that she
did not realise I loved her? And if she did realise it, why did she
give no evidence of her joy and gratitude?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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