“She will not accept? Yes, because of that. It is crazy. I am
heart-broken. I ask--I ask your pardon for it.”
She asked my pardon for this refusal as if it were a lapse in good
manners. In the conversation which she had just had with Raymonde
without doubt she had emphasised that which appealed to and blinded
her, that upon which I had based my own superiority: the unexpected
opportunity of this union, the change of circumstances, the pleasures
of success and of life in the great world, far from “this desert.”
Over the vanishing of a dream in such harmony with her aspirations she
mourned as sorrowfully as Pierette over her broken pitcher.
M. Mairieux, on the contrary, seemed comforted: he was to keep his
daughter.
On my part, suffering from this blow struck at both my passion and my
pride, I cried out:
“But since I love her!”
I could not conceive that any one should oppose my will. Was it
possible to tolerate any obstacle which did not proceed from me myself?
“Possibly you do,” observed M. Mairieux, “but she is the question.”
I felt an intense anger at this child, who at her age and in her
position, dared not to love me. I could not believe such audacity. The
whole current of my life was stopped, congealed like the surface of a
frozen stream. Yet I had not said, “Will she ever love me.” Neither had
I said, “Will she not love me some day.” No, I had simply said, “Since
I love her!”
“She will accept,” good Mme. Mairieux assured me. “How can you imagine
that she will not?”
To her the refusal was almost sacrilege.
Seeing my stupefaction and my emotion, her husband took my hand.
“We are much touched by your offer, M. Cernay,” he said. “We expected
it so little. We are simple folk, without ambition. Some nice fellow,
an industrious, cheerful, intelligent, upright, sensitive-souled lad
who would have assured us Raymonde’s happiness--we did not ask anything
more. In order to find him we were planning to go to the city the next
winter or two. But you--no, truly, we did not think of it.”
Throughout this harangue, which was scarcely to her taste, Mme.
Mairieux kept shaking her head. Despite her denials, however, her
husband continued:
“Your offer is an honour. Many advantageous marriages were open to
you and you chose this. Now allow us to recover our breath and think
it over. I will question my daughter, and learn whether her answer is
final or not.”
“No, no,” protested his wife. “It is not.”
“I will let you know, I promise you,” he said.
“When?” I demanded instantly.
“Some day soon.”
To wait still longer! It was not to be dreamed of, and I turned
impetuously upon my superintendent.
“No, no, not some day soon--immediately. I wish to see her, to speak to
her. I will learn from her why it is that she avoids me. I insist upon
it.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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