“I was looking yonder for the forest of the Maiden and the lodge at the
gate.”
“That is the Porte Dauphine and the Chinese Pavilion.”
“I did not know it. I imagined that we were at home.”
I had thought this procession that our apartment commanded would have
attracted and captivated the love of elegance latent in every woman,
that Paris would not have failed to awaken it in her; and behold, the
nook where she was born, the country of her love, was sufficient for
her. She did not see beyond it; or rather she saw it everywhere.
“You will come to love it,” I continued, with a gesture toward the
city. “At your age Paris is irresistible, above all when you will be
one of its queens.”
“Oh, one of its queens? You are laughing at me.”
At that moment, attentive and interested, her blond hair caressed
by a ray of sunlight, she was at the same time so sensible and so
fascinating that I felt I could hope everything for her.
“I am not joking,” I said. “You do not know my power.”
“Do you dare say that?”
“Well, I will make you a queen.”
“Again?”
“That is to say, a woman of fashion.”
Before this prospect she opened her large eyes like a child who is
taken to the zoological gardens for the first time and introduced to
unknown and strange animals, ostriches, giraffes, or delicate and
impossible-looking pink flamingoes. She repeated my phrase, uttering
the words as if they hurt her.
“A woman of fashion.”
It meant nothing to her. There had never been any question of it at
the Sleeping Woods, and in Rome we lived as strangers, apart from the
regular social hierarchy and absolutely at liberty to do as we wished.
Now, however, this was the goal that I proposed for her. Already Paris
had begun to claim me once again. I breathed its atmosphere, laden with
envy and vanity and artificial charms, the more eagerly because for a
time it had ceased to intoxicate me and I brought to it new appetite.
I had not retained that which my love had given me--regeneration and
peace of heart. On the contrary, I wished to force upon her my own
habits of life. Face to face with this child, I became aware of the
absurdity of my desire. I became aware of it, but I did not abandon it
on that account. I wished the world to appreciate and to envy me the
treasure that I possessed. In order to be in the fashion, my happiness
required publicity.
She turned her head:
“It is impossible,” she said. “I should not know how.”
“Yes, yes,” I insisted, not without a little impatience. “You will
learn. You can learn everything.”
“Dost thou wish it?” and then, correcting herself, “Do you wish it?”
she asked.
“Certainly.”
“Then I will obey you to the best of my ability.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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