_How vain have proved the Labours of the Stage, In striving to reclaim a vitious Age! Poets may write the Mischief to impeach, You care as little what the Poets teach, As you regard at Church what Parsons preach. But where such Follies, and such Vices reign, What honest Pen has Patience to refrain? At Church, in Pews, ye most devoutly snore And here, got dully drunk, ye come to roar: Ye go to Church to glout, and ogle there, And come to meet more loud convenient here. With equal Zeal ye honour either Place, And run so very evenly your Race, Y’ improve in Wit just as you do in Grace. It must be so, some Daemon has possest Our Land, and we have never since been blest. Y’ have seen it all, or heard of its Renown, In Reverend Shape it staled about the Town, Six Yeomen tall attending on its Frown. Sometimes with humble Note and zealous Lore, ’.wou’d play the Apostolick Function o’er: But, Heaven have mercy on us when it swore. Whene’er it swore, to prove the Oaths were true, Out of its much at random Halters flew Round some unwary Neck, by Magick thrown, Though still the cunning Devil sav’d its own: For when the Inchantment could no longer last, The subtle Pug most dextrously uncas’d, Left awful Form for one more seeming pious, And in a moment vary’d to defy us; From silken Doctor home-spun Ananias: Left the leud Court, and did in City fix, Where still, by its old Arts, it plays new Tricks, And fills the Heads of Fools with Politicks. This Daemon lately drew in many a Guest, To part with zealous Guinea for--no Feast. Who, but the most incorrigible Fops, For ever doomed in dismal Cells, call’d Shops, To cheat and damn themselves to get their Livings, Wou’d lay sweet Money out in Sham-Thanksgivings? Sham-Plots you may have paid for o’er and o’er; But who e’er paid for a Sham-Treat before? Had you not better sent your Offerings all Hither to us, than Sequestrators Hall? I being your Steward, Justice had been done ye; I cou’d have entertain’d you worth your Money_. DRAMATIS PERSONAE. MEN. Sir _Timothy Treat-all_, an old seditious Knight, | that keeps open House for Commonwealthsmen | Mr. _Nokes_. and true blue Protestants, Uncle to _T. | Wilding_, | _Tom Wilding_, a Tory, his discarded Nephew, Mr. _Bctterton_. Sir _Anthony Meriwill_, an old Tory Knight of Mr. _Lee_. _Devonshire_, Sir _Charles Meriwill_, his Nephew, a Tory also, | in love with L. _Galliard_, and Friend to | Mr. _Williams_. _Wilding_, | _Dresswell_, a young Gentleman, Friend to Mr. _Bowman_. _Wilding_, _Foppington_, a Hanger-on on _Wilding_, Mr. _Jevon_. _Jervice_, Man to Sir _Timothy_. _Laboir_, Man to _Tom Wilding_. Boy, Page to Lady _Galliard_. Boy, Page to _Diana_. Guests, Footmen, Musick, &c. WOMEN.