Sir _Tim_. Say, Sir? why, I’ll deny it, Sir; for what Jury will believe
so wise a Magistrate as I cou’d communicate such Secrets to such as you?
I’ll say you forg’d ‘em, and put ‘em in--or print every one of ‘em, and
own ‘em, as long as they were writ and publisht in London, Sir. Come,
come, the World is not so bad yet, but a Man may speak Treason within the
Walls of London, thanks be to God, and honest conscientious Jury-Men. And
as for the Money, Gentlemen, take notice you rob the Party.
_Wild_. Come, come, carry off the Booty, and prithee remove that Rubbish
of the Nation out of the way--Your servant, Sir.--So, away with it to
_Dresswell’s_ Lodgings, his Coach is at the Door ready to receive it.
[_They carry off Sir_ Timothy, _and others take up
the Bags, and go out with ‘em_.
_Dres_. Well, you are sure you have all you came for?
_Wild_. All’s safe, my Lads, the Writings all--
_Fop_. Come, let’s away then.
_Wild_. Away? what meanest thou? is there not a Lord to be found bound in
his Bed, and all his People? Come, come, dispatch, and each Man bind his
Fellow.
_Fop_. We had better follow the Baggage, Captain.
_Wild_. No, we have not done so ill, but we dare shew our Faces. Come,
come, to binding.
_Fop_. And who shall bind the last Man?
_Wild_. Honest Laboir, d’ye hear, Sirrah? you get drunk and lay in your
Clothes under the Hall-Table; d’ye hear me? Look to’t, ye Rascal, and
carry things discreetly, or you’ll be hang’d, that’s certain.
[_Ex_. Wild, _and_ Dres.
_Fop_. So, now will I i’th’ Morning to _Charlot_, and give her such a
Character of her Love, as if she have Resentment, makes her mine.
[_Exit_ Fop.
Sir _Tim_. [_calls within_.] Ho, Jenkins, Roger, Simon! Where are these
Rogues? none left alive to come to my Assistance? So ho, ho, ho, ho!
Rascals, Sluggards, Drones! so ho, ho, ho!
_Lab_. So, now’s my Cue--and stay, I am not yet sober.
[_Puts himself into a drunken Posture_.
Sir _Tim_. Dogs, Rogues, none hear me? Fire, fire, fire!
_Lab_. Water, water, I say; for I am damnable dry.
Sir _Tim_. Hah, who’s there?
_Lab_. What doleful Voice is that?
Sir _Tim_. What art thou, Friend or Foe? [_In a doleful Tone_.
_Lab_. Very direful--why, what the Devil art thou?
Sir _Tim_. If thou’rt a Friend, approach, approach the wretched.
_Lab_. Wretched! What art thou, Ghost, Hobgoblin, or walking Spirit?
[_Reeling in with a Lanthorn in’s Hand_.
Sir _Tim_. Oh, neither, neither, but mere Mortal, Sir _Timothy
Treat-all_, robb’d and bound.
[_Coming out led by_ Laboir.
_Lab_. How, our generous Host!
Sir _Tim_. How, one of my Lord’s Servants! Alas, alas, how cam’st thou to
escape?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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