Sir _Tim_. Your Pardon, sweet _Sharp_, my whole Design in it is to be
Master of my self, and with part of her Portion to set up my Miss,
_Betty Flauntit_; which, by the way, is the main end of my marrying; the
rest you’ll have your shares of--Now I am forc’d to take you up Suits at
treble Prizes, have damn’d Wine and Meat put upon us, ‘cause the
Reckoning is to be book’d: But ready Money, ye Rogues! What Charms it
has! makes the Waiters fly, Boys, and the Master with Cap in
Hand--excuse what’s amiss, Gentlemen--Your Worship shall command the
best--and the rest--How briskly the Box and Dice dance, and the ready
Money submits to the lucky Gamester, and the gay Wench consults with
every Beauty to make her self agreeable to the Man with ready Money! In
fine, dear Rogues, all things are sacrific’d to its Power; and no Mortal
conceives the Joy of Argent Content. ‘Tis this powerful God that makes
me submit to the Devil, Matrimony; and then thou art assur’d of me, my
stout Lads of brisk Debauch.
_Sham_. And is it possible you can be ty’d up to a Wife? Whilst here in
_London_, and free, you have the whole World to range in, and like a
wanton Heifer, eat of every Pasture.
Sir _Tim_. Why, dost think I’ll be confin’d to my own dull Enclosure?
No, I had rather feed coarsely upon the boundless Common; perhaps two or
three days I may be in love, and remain constant, but that’s the most.
_Sharp_. And in three Weeks, should you wed a _Cynthia_, you’d be a
Monster.
Sir _Tim_. What, thou meanest a Cuckold, I warrant. God help thee! But a
Monster is only so from its Rarity, and a Cuckold is no such strange
thing in our Age.
_Enter_ Bellmour _and_ Friendlove.
But who comes here? _Bellmour!_ Ah, my little dear Rogue! how dost thou?
--_Ned Friendlove_ too! Dear Lad, how dost thou too? Why, welcome to
Town, i’faith, and I’m glad to see you both.
_Friend_. Sir _Timothy Tawdrey!_--
Sir _Tim_. The same, by Fortune, dear _Ned_: And how, and how, Man, how
go Matters?
_Friend_. Between who, Sir?
Sir _Tim_. Why, any Body, Man; but, by Fortune, I’m overjoy’d to meet
thee: But where dost think I was going?
_Friend_. Is’t possible one shou’d divine?
Sir _Tim_. Is’t possible you shou’d not, and meet me so near your
Sister’s Lodgings? Faith, I was coming to pay my Respects and Services,
and the rest--Thou know’st my meaning--The old Business of the
Silver-World, _Ned_; by Fortune, it’s a mad Age we live in, _Ned_; and
here be so many--wicked Rogues, about this damn’d leud Town, that,
’.aith, I am fain to speak in the vulgar modish Style, in my own
Defence, and railly Matrimony and the rest.
_Friend_. Matrimony!--I hope you are so exactly refin’d a Man of the
Town, that you will not offer once to think of so dull a thing: let that
alone for such cold Complexions as _Bellmour_ here, and I, that have not
attain’d to that most excellent faculty of Keeping yet, as you, Sir
_Timothy_, have done; much to your Glory, I assure you.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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